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How are you going to do this, logistically? Are you going to have bracelets at the reception?
I think almost everyone who drinks even occasionally will say yes. I don't drink very much but I would answer yes, I'd want to have one or two.
@joious: I'm confused. Are you having an open bar? or are you having a cash bar?
Is your venue OK with this approach? When we looked at open bars with a PP rate, most were leery about even letting us exclude certain family members like my father, who doesn't drink at all, ever. They were only OK with excluding underagers. I think the rationale was that without an armband or something, they couldn't get an accurate count.
I only got to exclude underage kids. It didn't matter if someone was a teetotaler or not.
However, my cousin married a mormon and HALF her guests didn't drink. She did get a price cut for that.
That's a good question. I definitely don't want to have bracelets or anything like that, I think that would be really funny looking! :) I'm not really worried about running out of alcohol, but I am worried about suggesting a lowball number, and the venue getting pissed and charging us some additional fee. I doubt that could happen, but I'm a law student, and I'm super paranoid about contracts.
At any rate, you raise a good point about some people being light drinkers, and I think I'll factor that into my numbers. The main reason I'm doing this is because my fiance has some distant relatives coming and I'm not sure how they would react to being asked if they'll be drinking. His family is really awesome for the most part, but there are some portions of the family that are super aggro about etiquette, etc. Since I'm not, I try to do my best to anticipate things that might set them off. I realize I can't please everyone, but I would love to avoid any drama, etc. that I can.
Thanks for your input!
@mtwitter-it's an open bar.
@atalante-the venue is okay with this approach, which is another reason why I want to make sure my count is as accurate as possible. We've had a great experience with them up to this point, and I don't want to do anything dishonest, etc. that might ruin that.
Even if you ask I don't think you will get an accurate number. Most people will say yes because they don't want to risk not getting included. Who wants to say no now for something happening months in advance? I also wouldn't advocate asking if people want cake or champagne for a toast. It is too early.
I also don't think there is a way to ask that isn't going to make you look cheap to some people. I think you have to assume that all/most will particiapte and pay accordingly.
@joious: Can you decide on what works for your budget and tell the venue you're willing to pay for "x" amount of drinks. At the time you reach the budget you've set they should check with you. If it's towards the end of the evening you would be able to continue assuming you might only go slightly over, you may never hit your limit, or if it's early, you could switch it to a cash bar at that point.
As a guest, if I saw this I might be a little confused. I've never heard of a venue operating that way. If I were you, I would just estimate. You probably know which of your friends and family are drinkers, and which aren't. Check with both your parents to get a better idea.
I'm surprised your venue is letting you report headcount on how many people are going to drink. Most contracts and venues that I've encounted counted ALL over 21 attendees and charged regardless of if an individual drank 10 drinks or 0. What's stopping a bride from reporting 20 and having those 20 people get drinks for 3 of their friends instead of reporting 60 people?
Great thanks for all of your input.
@mwitter80: I like your suggestion the best and I think this is what I'm going to do. :)
@vickyness: I think they just buy the alcohol based on a certain percentage they have. I imagine that once they're out of alcohol they're out of alcohol. I'm going to speak with the event manager to see if I can follow mtwitter's advice. I just wanted to get some feedback on how this sounded because as I mentioned, I don't want to offend anyone by broaching the subject.
I agree with PP that this would be confusing as a guest... it would probably make me think that there's some sort of separate cocktail hour that i need to RSVP to separately or something. Plus, how is your venue going to measure it? I mean... what are you going to do if your venue starts thinking too many people are drinking and they want to charge you more?
Also... people may forget what they checked on the card... what happens if Aunt Sue said no but then Uncle Bob grabs her a drink anyway?
I come from a pretty etiquette-savvy family, and I'd DEFINITELY think it was weird to see that on a response card. I'd also probably assume it meant there were budget difficulties with the wedding, and I'd probably skip out on the cocktails to avoid making the hosts pay for it.
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Hi Hive! Longtime lurker hoping to get some help on a pretty minor issue.
I'm getting married and offering a hosted bar. We're paying a per person price for our drinks, so I was thinking of writing "will you be joining us for cocktails" on the RSVP cards.
Does anyone have any input about whether this sounds rude, or if there's a better way to phrase it? Also, do you think this places too much emphasis on alcohol? We love a good party, but we definitely don't party as hard as we used too, and would certainly not want people to take the drinking thing overboard.
My main motivation for including this question on the RSVP card is to cut down our expenses, since we're on a pretty stretched out budget as it is. Thanks in advance!