- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Ok – so really quickly, background: I just moved to SC from NY and I got a new job, doing the same thing I’ve been doing for the last 3 years, just in a new office, new state, new city, etc.
I am FREAKING out. I have never freaked out about anything before like this. I can’t pinpoint the problem, except that I am terrified that people won’t like me.
Normally, I don’t CARE – I have enough friends, I’m never looking to make more. But, this time – since I’m 12 hours away from my friends, I am looking to make maybe 1 or 2 new friends or people who I can talk to or hang out with every so often here. And I am scared I’m not likeable!
I love my FI, but he mentioned that I am “guarded” and “sharp” and now I’m freaking out that this is why I don’t have a lot of friends. I have a handful of really, really close girls and I only make like 1-2 friends in any type of new situation (like, I made 1 friend from grade school, 2 friends from HS, 2 friends from college, 2 in law school, etc). I feel like I’m not “popular” and I’m really scared I’m not going to be liked.
I’m freaking out that I’m going to wear the wrong suit tomorrow. That I’ll be overdressed or underdressed or that my hair will curl funky or I DON’T KNOW! Something will be wrong and everyone will hate the new girl. I didn’t react like this at my last job because (1) I didn’t care to make friends and (2) there was a class of 40 of us all starting together, so I wasn’t the only ‘new’ girl.
And whenever I mention this to FI he just says, “You’ve freaked out less when you were on TRIAL, what is going on with you??” and what I want to hear is, “People love you, why won’t they love you at your new job?” and I assume he’s not saying that because – well maybe people DON’T love me. Ugh.
My chest feels tight every time I think about it and I want to cry. I’ve never felt this way before! He’s right – even on trial, I’m like – eh, if I don’t win, at least I tried my best, that’s the most I can do, you can’t win them all.
WHY AM I REACTING LIKE THIS? What can I do to calm down and stop freaking out? 🙁 Help! I know none of you know me in person, so you don’t know if I’m likeable or not but maybe you have some calming advice or something. UGHHH!