Post # 1
Ok Bees. I have a dilemma. FI’s really good guy friend, lets call him Jack, was dating a girl who I became REALLY good friends with, we’ll call her Jill. Had they stayed together, and she and I would have kept hanging out as often as we were back then, she would have been in the running as a MOH for me. Unfortunately, since they broke up, we didnt see each other nearly as much, but still talked very often. I love her dearly as a friend and she says i’m the best thing she got out of their relationship lol
They broke up because Jack held past indescrections Jill was involved in before she even met Jack. She was about to graduate vet school, was 26 years old, he was 31, she was ready to be getting married and having children. When she realized he would never get over the things she did in her past, she left him. It was heartbreaking. Other than this one issue, they were perfect together. Shes an amazing person, and hes really cool (when he’s not being super judgy). I really miss them being together and feel he missed out on his soulmate.
Heres a timeline of what has gone down since: They broke up end of 2011, Started dating a new guy, Joe, September 2012, got engaged to Joe May 2013 & moved to Vegas, and now is marrying Joe May 2014.
Jill & Joe’s STD magnent is on the front of my fridge. Jack and his new girlfriend (living togehter, been together since June 2013) are coming over tomorrow to watch football.
What do I do with the STD?! I really feel like leaving it up & rubbing it in Jack’s face lol But i like his new girlfriend and I wouldnt want to disrespect her. Do i stick it on the side of the fridge where it’s not as noticable? Or take it down & put it back up when they leave? This is why i’m against magnent STDs lol Help!!
Post # 3
@theEguarantee: Just take it down and put it back up. Take the higher road. If she is not rubbing it in his face, no need for you to do it for her.
Post # 4
@theEguarantee: I can’t imagine wanting to do something that would knowingly hurt someone’s feelings- in this case leaving the magnet visible.
Take it down.
Post # 5
That’s an awful lot of backstory for a problem about a magnet 😉
Life can be funny sometimes, but I think that you are overthinking this. You don’t have any obligation to hide magnets from your guests IMO…whether or not he knows about his ex’s upcoming wedding is between them, but it is not your obligation to go out of your way to keep it a secret from him.
I very much doubt he will carefully inspect your fridge, and if he does, he might already know about the wedding/not care! They broke up over two years ago.
Post # 6
@theEguarantee: I think you should not worry about it either way and just leave it where it is.
Post # 7
@theEguarantee: I don’t think you’re rubbing it in his face by leaving it up. Why should you go through all this stress over a relationship that you were never part of? Don’t do anything special just because he’s coming over. If he was single and miserable and depressed that would be another story.
Post # 8
@julies1949: Do you really think that it would hurt his feelings? I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone either but I just can’t imagine it being a big deal.
They broke up years ago and it sounds like they have both moved on. He might already know that she is engaged, or not care. No one has specifically told her that he needs to have this information kept a big secret from him, it almost seems strange to go way out of her way to hide it!
Post # 9
@PromiseRooster: LOL! I thought the same thing about the long backstory. Not. That. Serious.
I would take it down while he is there. Simple.
Post # 10
I would leave it up. Not to rub his face in it but because I don’t have time to worry about people’s past makeups and breakups. He’s happy, she’s happy so whats the big deal.
Post # 11
Is this a for real question? You’re all adults? Both your friends have moved on in their lives with other people. There is no need for hand-wringing about the std on the fridge.
Post # 12
@ebarnes0: +1 I agree with you there. If I knew he was unhappy and still dwelling on their past relationship I would take it down. But he is happy with his gf. If he wants to be on the fridge he needs to pop the question! haha
Post # 13
If you like his new girlfriend, take it down. Would you want to go to someone’s house and see pics of your boyfriend’s ex? No.
Post # 14
thanks ladies. I’m sure I’m overthinking it way too much. He and his girlfriend know Jill is getting married. Jack has asked that my FI and I do not talk about her to him(although he has this new girlfriend, i dont believe he is over Jill). I dont know who told him, but I know he knows. I think we should just take it down for the day. Jill wont know, although i have an irrational feeling of guilt for hiding her away in a drawer lol i think i’m having a crazy day today, yall!
Post # 15
It sounds like they’re both happy and have moved on, so I wouldn’t even worry about it.
Post # 16
ah so many more people commented while i wrote my reply!! I’m just going to take it down. I do like the new girlfriend, and dont want her to feel uncomfortable. and as much as i want Jack to know what he missed out on, i dont think i have to leave a STD up for him to know that. I think he already knows.