Post # 1
Hello ladies! 🙂
Here’s my dilemma: my future sister-in-law, whom I adore, wants to take our wedding photos. She is a phenomenal photographer, but her editing skills are less-than-professional (she uses Picnik and refuses to learn PhotoShop!)
Now, I want professional-quality photographs for our big day, and FI shares my feelings. I had originally thought this wouldn’t be a big issue because I had planned on asking FSIL to be a bridesmaid.
Well, I went to ask her the other day to be a bridesmaid, and to my complete shock, she responded, “I would really rather take the photographs… The only purpose to be a bridesmaid is to support the bride, and you already know I support your wedding. I would much rather take the pictures you’ll have the rest of your life.”
How do I handle this? Allow her to photograph then ask a professional to edit the pictures? What would you do?
Post # 3
I would tell her that you would rather have her be in the wedding and enjoy the day instead of having to stress about being a vendor instead of a family member.
Post # 4
Exactly what you said at the end or…. instead of payment or a gift for the service get her photoshop as a gift!!!!
Post # 5
Do you like her style photography? Is it just the editing you are concerned about? If you like her style photography and would be happy with it, I would just ask for the digital negatives and explain that there is no need to edit since she is gerenously offering her services. You could hand them off to someone else to edit, or do so yourself if you have the knowledge. If you don’t care for her style at all I would explain that you adore her creativity and style, but you want her to enjoy your wedding day and spend it with you. Tell her you found someone else you would like to use so that she could enjoy your day with you.
Post # 6
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: I agree!! Tell her that you really want her to be a part of your wedding and to enjoy the day celebrating with her, which you won’t be able to do if she is taking pictures all day.
Post # 7
Can you have two photographers?
Tell her that you want to really get all the details and she is only one person?
Post # 8
I also agree with His Lil SantosGirl as well. You could explain that you would like her to get some of the creative shots and you want another photographer for the other shots. That you envisioned two photographers for your wedding. Tell your pro photographer that they should cover everything and that way you make sure you get it all.
Post # 9
My FSIL wanted to do our photos as well she is not a working professional but has gone to school for it and is very talented. I thanked her and said I really hope she will bring her camera because we would love for her to take some photos, but we hired a photographer for the day. I also told her that we really wanted her to be able to celebrate with us and be in the photos and enjoy herself. She understood and was really happy to hear that we didn’t mind her also taking photos as a guest.
Post # 10
I had tried convincing her that I really wanted her in the wedding party because honestly, I do, she’s wonderful to me and she’s my FI’s only sister. To that, she responded, “Psh, I’ve been in so many weddings, I really don’t want to be in another… I want to take your pictures!”
Which offended me to an extent… I felt like saying, “You may have been in ‘so many weddings’, but you haven’t been in MY wedding…”
BUT, I keep the peace.
And TBH, she’s a good photographer… just not what I want for my wedding.
And we tried buying her PhotoShop – she refuses to use it! LOL
Post # 11
@soon2beMrsV:Allow her to take the pictures. It seems like it means a lot to her and the family. Have you taken your engagement pictures? Let her do those. What about the photos that are taken the morning of your wedding and when the girls are getting dresses? It’s hard to mess something like that up. It would be nice to have extra action shots from the reception with people dancing. I would still hire a professional but in a 2-3 hour limited capacity. Compromise and save money. Win/Win.
Post # 12
I agree with Seersucker. And since she’s trying to be so generous, I think it would be a little cruel to pretend to let her photograph the wedding, while hiring a professional as “back-up.” If you just care about editing, get the negatives and have a professional edit them. But if it’s a style thing, or if you’d really rather not worry about her taking pictures at all, then just firmly tell her that you’d rather have her be a bridesmaid and a guest at your wedding than an employee. I just think being up front will save you a lot of drama later.
Post # 13
I love the point that pinkb made…stress that you want her IN the photos. 🙂
Post # 14
@Soladylike: Oooh ditto on engagement pictures, especially if you might use them in some capacity during the wedding (i.e. a photobook guestbook). But I still think you should be honest and hire a pro.
Post # 15
Thanks for all the words of wisdom! 🙂
That’s the thing – I figured we would compromise and let her do the engagement photos… which she has already done. And…. I didn’t like them =(
I feel like I’m being bridezilla. But at the same time, I don’t want to be disappointed with my photos. =/
Post # 16
Engagement photos may be a good compromise. Using her as a ‘second shooter’ at the wedding may not even be an option because many photogs include in their contracts that they are the only one taking professional photos and if there is a different photog there they reserve the right to leave.
FI’s family has bakers and decorators and the like, but we’ve declined all of them. I generally go with the statement that, goodness forbid, anything were to happen or the product is less than ideal, there’s no contract to fall back on and I’d much rather treat vendors as business and preserve family relationships. They’ve all been understanding. *note- I only go this route after trying the explanation that I’d really rather have her there as a bridesmaid / guest, but it seems you have*
ETA- Well, the engagement shoot didn’t turn out like you’d like, so I’d really say just make it clear to her that it won’t work out. You’ve tried sweetly, and nicely, now it’s time to be a little more stiff on it (not mean, but at least making it clear that this isn’t something that will happen).