Post # 1
So, let me be totally honest with you bees….I was in grad school and now I am not because I received more than 1 C letter grade. I was devastated especially with only a semester left. I had a lot of things going on, death of parent and grandparent and overall just not enjoying the enivronment that my department provided. Problem is, my mother just won’t let it go. I am dissappointed in myself for sure, but I am trying to move forward; job, applying to other programs, etc. But she keeps wanting me to fight with the department about how they let me go. No formal letter, no warning of academic probation, the isolating environment. I am done with the department. I fought it at first, but I just can’t it is too much heart ache involved to constantly have to relive my failure. I’ve been telling people that I will return in the spring for the spring-only class that I need. But that just isn’t true. I just don’t want extended family and friends in my business like that.
My mother and I haven’t talked about it for a few months, but it came up today (more on why it came up in another post). And she just hasn’t come to terms with it. I think she is afraid that I won’t go back at all. As if I don’t finish at this school I never will. I told her that I still want to get my MA (I want to get my PhD as well at some point) but for some reason she rather me fight (to no avail) with my department than to move on and be happy elsewhere. So when I let her know that I just can’t fight or worry about my old department anymore, she says “so you are just not going to finish school” then says “well I just won’t bring it up anymore.” It is like she can’t fathom if it doesn’t happen now then it won’t at all. I am a very determined person and I have always wanted this advanced degree, so I know it will happen for me.
What can I say that I haven’t already said to get my mom to at least be on the level of grieving(lol) that I am at (which is probably inbetween 5 and 7)
Post # 2
MrsHistory-Bee: Your Mom is already grieving, that is why she wants you to fight this decision. She is grieving the loss of her vision/dream of her daughter- the bright girl who is working on her Master’s.
Family process these events in their own way.
I would advise you to finish your degree as soon as possible. It only gets harder to go back to school,once you are married, have children etc.
Post # 3
julies1949: I know . I am dealing with this is in my own way as well. My grief right now is dealing with how to move forward, but its hard to try to get approval from parents (that’s what we all want right? lol) when all she can talk about is how much of a waste of time that time period of my life was since it didn’t end with a degree. I want to finish my degrees asap, but I am young and there were people in my program that were in their 30s, 40s, retired military, children, no children, married, single, second career. Lots of people don’t go straight through (undergrad, MA, PhD) with nothing in between. My dad, her husband didn’t. I wish she could get behind the new plan of action.
Post # 4
You can always finish your degree at another school. Some/most of your credits will transfer. Think of your mental health, as well as your goals. I do know someone who dropped out of a Master’s program and then reapplied at another school after taking a year break. Do what’s right for you…
As far as approaching your mom about this, I would say try to lay out a plan-of-action, as it does seem that you want to finish your degree.
Best of luck!
Post # 5
MrsHistory-Bee: I wouldn’t say go back and fight for it because you don’t want to end up in such toxic environment. I would suggest though that you look into finishing your degree at another school. Look around and apply, as some bees said, some of your credits could easily transfer. Maybe talk to your mom about your goals and what you’re doing to get there. She thinks maybe you have given up on your own dream, and even though we know is not true, it is hard for moms to let go. It only becomes harder later once you get into the habit of not going to school. Best of luck.