HELP! His parents invited 100 extra guests!!!!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am so sorry, did she actually mail them invites?   How did she get the invites?  Did she have her own printed up?  Discuss with FDH, but if all she did was tell  people they would be invited, she may have to back down. 

Post # 3
Member
602 posts
Busy bee

You tell your asshole in laws that they were completely out of line and that this isn’t their wedding. I’ve never understood parents who make their kids nuptials all about them. They need to contact every single one of those 100 people that they so rudely invited to and explain that they had a lapse in judgement and that they have to rescind the invitation. Even if they were willing to pay for those 100 people, it’s still not fair to you since you don’t want these people there. This is your wedding, not theirs. 

Post # 4
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

How the hell did they conjure up an extra 100 invites?  No invite sent by you, no entry.

That is incredible rude of them.

How does this work with food?  Or the venue?

Post # 5
Member
3044 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Your wedding is in a week and a half and you are just finding out now that they invited an extra 100 people? What the hell????! I don’t even understand how that works.

 

honestly I would dump it on his parents’ shoulders to fix.

Post # 6
Member
6028 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

What is your fil’s culture?

Post # 7
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Tell them to uninvite the guests, then hire some beefy security for the wedding. If they are not on the list, they don’t get in. Period. His parents can deal with any aftermath since it’s a mess they created.

Post # 8
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

Holy shit, girl. I don’t know what to do. Elope?

 

(I totally empathize – I have nightmares that my FMIL will do this …)

Post # 9
Member
9531 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m way confused. How were they invited? Why are you just finding out now? What does your husband have to say about this? Is this typical in his culture? Who are the 100 people from your side if you’re only having 12 family and a few friends?

Post # 10
Member
5277 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

“We had spoken about this issue many many times and I always enlist my fiance to remind his mother that she can’t invite everyone, but this still happened somehow.”

I’m confused too.  If there were known issues about his mother inviting everyone, why did you request their final list just days before the wedding? 

Post # 11
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

summer92:  Just call the inlaws and tell them either they contact 100 guests and tell them what happened and that they’re uninvited through no fault of yours or that you will elope and they wont be there either. 

Post # 13
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

You are making them do that because they had a number limit and should have respected it. Also, your FI should be handling his family, not you. That is super important. ALWAYS have him manage his family and you manage yours to cut down on negative feelings and mangled communications. (that is the rule my FI and I live by and was blessed by a couples counselor). 

As for the venue. I agree with you that you have a list and will dislike the strangers. I hate crowds and wanted to elope but since my fi is the first child, we decided to go ahead and do the wedding thing. I think you are in the right. However, for peace you could give a bit. How many of the 200 RSVPd yes? If there is 120 yeses is that good enough? 

Post # 14
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Tell them they can pay for all 100 of those extras.

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