(Closed) Help! How do I break this to my friend?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would just explain to her that you tried to get an exception for her too, but they wouldn’t budge.  It’s not your fault; it’s your venue’s policy.

Post # 4
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yep, if she has a problem, she can call the venue and ask them herself!

Post # 7
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Argh, your friend sounds like a pip. It is your wedding day and she shouldn’t behave in any way that could affect it or give you stress.

I believe honesty is the best policy. Perhaps you could try to work with her on an alternative (sitter, etc)? If she won’t budge and really gives you a hard time, I would just gently remind her that you are already stressed and would appreciate it if she would back off. And you don’t need an issue with the vendor, either.

Post # 8
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Menobride has a great idea with the sitter. Could the venue offer another small room for this? Or is there a hotel closeby?

Post # 9
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I guess I’m confused as to why you’re trying to keep your venue happy.  That isn’t your job – let her complain.  I honestly hate children at weddings, but I’m pretty sure that you can’t just leave a 8-10 month old with just anyone, so in that respect is 2 weeks and 8 months really that different?  As far as the 8 month old being bottlefed, did you actually tell the venue that?  You must have a special/strange/unique location, because I can’t imagine goinginto that much detail about the guests.

Post # 10
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would lie and say she is still breast feeding the 10 month old or let her complain to the venue!

As pp said it’s not your job to keep your venue happy – THEY are supposed to be keeping YOU happy – your the one dishing out the cash!

Post # 11
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

let her call the venue! Just … warn them ahead of time. 🙂

Seriously, just tell her that they have a no children policy and if she wants to fuss over it, she can check with them herself. She doesn’t need to know that you advocated on the other friend’s behalf – honestly that is none of her business. When you talk to the other friend, just let her know that the venue is making an exception, there are others who may be upset, and could she do her best to downplay it?

Post # 12
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sweetie, relax.  This is YOUR wedding day.  You have already contracted with your venue.  What are they going to do if there are (GASP) two babies on your wedding day?  Kick you and all of your guests out?!  Of course not.  If you want to let your other friend bring her child, let her.  If you don’t, tell her that you don’t and if she does see the little baby at the wedding and has the audacity to mention it to you during your wedding, just say you had no idea.

Post # 14
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@wellykiwi: If you don’t want children, then tell your friends that they cannot bring their children.  I was in your same boat with not wanting children at my wedding and everyone understood.  Some celebrations just aren’t appropriate for children.

Post # 15
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I hate to be a mean person, but if she can’t find a sitter, she will just have to stay home or have her husband/baby’s father stay with the child.  When my sister is invited to an adults only event, if they can’t get a sitter, one of them just goes and the other one watches the kids.  It’s part of being a parent, selflessness, making sacrifices.  The world isn’t always designed to make everyones lives easier.  And if she’s going to be that upset about it, then she just shouldn’t come.

Post # 16
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I agree with mcnetn3.  If she refuses to let someone else watch her baby during the wedding then she should leave the baby with someone she trusts.  If she is that close of a friend she will understand why the 2wk old got the exception and not her child.  My daughter is 7mo and I wouldn’t bring her to a wedding unless specifically told that children were invited!  If she doesn’t understand then you probably shouldn’t send her an invite… sorry.

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