Post # 1
I need some input! My FMIL is throwing a bridal shower for me over the christmas holiday in Michigan (my FI and I live in California and the wedding will be out here). I’m a little nervous for several reasons. I have never been to a bridal shower. FMIL is inviting a lot of her friends who are NOT invited to the wedding (BIG faux pas, but she claimed they said they wanted to go to the shower even if they weren’t invited to the wedding) and I don’t know 80-90% of the women attending. She also complained about my family having to be invited, which really annoyed me! Both my FI and my families living in Michigan (same area) and it just seems ridiculous to put up a stink about inviting THE BRIDE’S family, many of whom can’t come anyway, to her bridal shower! She’s having 30 people and complained about my nine invites. NINE!! And three of them can’t come! Originally she wanted to host the bridal shower when I couldn’t come, and said “That’s ok, I’ll send you the gifts.” That seemed a little strange: A bridal shower with no bride! But its clear that she just wanted to have a party and was using the shower as an excuse. Ok, I’m getting off topic.
What happens at a bridal shower?? I know it will be at an afternoon tea room (I looove tea time) and that there’s usually games and gifts, etc. How do I keep track of who gave us what in terms of gifts?? I’ve heard that the MOH writes down the names and gifts but my MOH and bridesmaids can’t come, which I totally understand, as they all live in Cali or NYC. So what do I do? Should I just keep a notebook beside me and write the names and what they gave me as I go? Except I don’t know who these women are and can’t say, “Thank you! What’s your name, btw? How do you spell that?” LOL. I don’t want to ask my mom since she doesn’t know any of these ladies either (and she would HATE doing it, again totally understandable!). Is it appropriate to ask my FMIL or FSIL? Is that rude? Serisouly, I have no idea what to do!
Post # 3
@eimajleigh: I would ask the FSIL, however you FMIL may already have a plan. I wouldn’t worry about it too much, it should all work out.
Post # 4
I think it would be really awkward for you to be taking notes as you open presents–it wouldn’t really be possible to do it surreptitiously and it would cause a delay…it would just be weird.
As the party hostess, I feel it’s your FMIL’s responsibility to do this. When I hosted FSIL’s shower, I was the one to make the list. Plus, it sounds like she’s the one who will know people’s names.
Also…A bridal shower without a bride? She sounds a little crazy…
Post # 5
That’s definitely not something you should have to do. I would say your FMIL should keep track for you.
Post # 6
Your FMIL should keep track of gifts. To make it easier for you and her or whomever she delegates to the task, make a chart with plenty of room.
I did mine in word and used the create table function to make a sheet that had a space for the guests name and then a spot for the gift beside it. I did 2 tables per page with 5 guests per so 10 a page. Made it easier.
You could also write the gifts on the back of each card. I did that afterwards so I could remember later on down the road.
Post # 7
Are there any friends coming that you could ask? Your FMIL might feel somewhat slighted if you ask her, especially if she is the one hosting the party. She might want to be involved in and enjoy the opening process! If no family friends or friends of yours or your FI will be there, I would ask the FSIL.
Post # 8
@BubbiesTheBride: None of my friends can come. And I don’t want to ask anyone from my family because they don’t know any of these women either! Its really her party, not mine, lol!
Post # 9
I would ask the FSIL. The FMIl is the hostess and she may have to be in and out of the room while gifts are being opened.
You can create a spreadsheet as mentioned above, that will list the giver and the gift.
She should also make a quick note of the gift on the back of the gift cards as a double check.
Post # 11
Someone should step up and offer to do this. I know I have offered at showers when there were not many bridesmaids. The person could just write on each card what the present is so that it is not necessary to know every single guest.
Post # 12
Since your MOH won’t be there, I’d ask your FMIL to keep track. Your FSIL might not know all of your FMIL’s friends if they aren’t close enough to be invited to the wedding.
Post # 13
I voted for “the bride” before I read the post (sorry!) so chalk up 1 more vote for either the FSIL and FMIL.
ps- Seriously?? Your FMIL sounds like a real peach…
Post # 14
my FMIL held a shower for me in her town which my mom, FSIL, and I attended but was otherwise her friends. We did invite them all to the wedding but we knew 90% wouldn’t come – it was an excuse for a party and for showing off future daughter in law. A little different from your case from what you are saying. Anyway, my mom didn’t know anybody either but she sat next to me and took notes. FMIL printed a list for us of who was attending and when I read the card my mom simply picked the name from the list. I really liked including my mom in that way. I also had a second shower closer to home with “my people” and at that one my mom was social butterfly sitting with her friends and my MOH took the notes.