HELP! How many save-the-dates to send out??

posted 2 years ago in Paper
Post # 2
613 posts
Busy bee

kelspatterson:  Im sending out save-the-dates only to who is invited to the wedding and as we get no’s from that we add a new person to the invitation list. 

Post # 3
134 posts
Blushing bee

You can’t send someone a save the date and then not an invite. A save the date is telling someone to save that date in order to be able to be at your wedding…People use the save the date to take time off work, book accommodations etc. so it would be very rude to not follo it up withe an invitation. I suggest you send save the dates to people you will for sure invite and you can always send a second round of invitations out after the initial RSVP come back.

Post # 4
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

We only sent 1 save the date to each household. Even then we ONLY sent it to those we KNEW we wanted there (Immediate family and bestest of friends).

There were some questions on co-workers and extended family and other friends, so we did not send to them. We just sent them the invites when that came around.

Post # 5
1528 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It’s incredibly rude to send a save the date to someone you do not intend to invite. I have made our guest list and we are sending save the dates to everyone on the list. If I am not sure whether I intend to invite someone they will not get a save the date. Basically, you can add people to your invite list later and not send them a save the date, but cannot subtract and take away an invite from someone who received a save the date. 

Post # 6
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

wanabeabee:  You can’t always go by that. I had my uncle who said NO when he got the save the date, yet I still sent him an invite and low and behold..he’s coming now. 

Save the dates are just that…for them to save the date and give them advance notice (especially if they need to make travel plans or if it’s around a holiday). It is not a formal invitation. You should still send an invite to those you send a save the date to. 

A lot of relationships can change between now and invite time. So be choosy on who you send to. I’ve had some relationships change in the past year that I decided NOT to send invites to. 

Post # 7
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I wouldn’t send a save the date to someone you might not invite…That’d be kinda rude. Its basically a informal invitation without specifics on it.

Save the dates are only to give people a heads up, send them out to your guest list and even if you get “no’s” back don’t send out more…. things might change when it comes to sending out the actual invites, thats when you take the “No’s” seriously and send out exter invites if you want.

p.s. I sent some people  2 or 3 but only because i knew they wanted to keep them as keepsakes and they requested a couple extra (scrapbookers etc)

Post # 8
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

We’re also going with the one-per-household rule of thumb. I don’t really understand the point of sending a save the date to those you don’t intend to actually invite, what would be the point except to show off to people who can’t come?

Post # 10
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

kelspatterson:  I only gave save-the-dates to our VIPs – immediate family and close friends. Those that we really really wanted to be there, and we KNEW would be invited. At that point, we were still working on whittling down the guestlist, and what if circumstances changed? I am so glad we did that – STDs aren’t a necessity, so we saved both the postage and we still retained the ability to be flexible with our guestlist right up until we sent out invitations.

Post # 11
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Send only to the definites, like family or close friends. Otherwise, you could end up sending your bridesmaid’s long term bf’s parents an std the week before they break up. Learn from my mistake.

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