Post # 1
So a little background, in my area, people usually seem to give tiffany necklaces (e.g. ~$150-$175) as a bridesmaids gift.
I bought my girl’s dresses (~$175 each), paid for lunch one day, paid for two brunches at my bachelorette weekend, and paid for a hotel room for them to come to my shower (my mother in law hosted). I am not doing their hair or makeup (I can’t afford it, and am doing my own makeup). They spent about $1200 each for my bachelorette weekend (this includes all of our meals, and hotel stays, etc. – I probably spent like $400 on the two brunches) and gave me shower gifts in the range of $80-150.
I still want to get my girls something (I have never asked them to help me with ANY wedding tasks), and I feel like my buying their dresses ages ago has been forgotten, and they are expecting me to spend another $175… but I also feel like that is a lot, in total, if i had asked them to get the dresses, my gift to them would then be $350…
Its not all about the money, and I may sound like I am trying to be dollar for dollar, but really I am in a financial bind, and I want to get something nice, but I just dont think I can spend that much more on them.
What are you thoughts? Would spending $100 be ok? Should I do more or less? thanks!!
Post # 3
the dress, like jewelry for the wedding, isn’t really a gift. it is something you are requiring them to wear at your wedding for you.
it was a very nice guesture that you bought your girls’ dresses.
what if you spend $50-$100 or whatever you can afford. if they are your true friends, they won’t judge you.
Post # 4
@ajillity81: thanks for the advice, I understand its not a present per se, but then its like there was no point in my buying the dress, i should’ve just let them buy it?
Post # 5
@Marquise123: yea, lol true. I’d get them something small.
Post # 6
I think the dress was enough, honestly. I have never gotten a gift worth more than about $25-50 as a BM or MOH, so to get a $175 dress would have blown me away!!! A cute little thank you card for the wedding would be all I wanted otherwise.
Post # 7
A lot of people say anything to do with the wedding is not a gift, but in every post about bridesmaids’ gifts the majority is jewelry/robe that is used on the day of. I think it is great you bought their dresses, so something less extravagant than the Tiffany necklace is fine. Gift certificates to their favourite restaurant, or a pedicure or something. It depends on what your budget is to give them more, if it is only $50 per girl I think that is fine.
Post # 8
I definitely think spending $50 would be enough, since you already bought the dress.
In my area, physical gifts that are intended for the wedding are fine. Jewelry, shoes, accessories, anything like that counts as a gift here. (Services, like hair and make-up for the wedding are not.)
Post # 9
In this case, I think $50 is fine. Up to $100 but I wouldn’t spend any more since you already bought their dreses.
Post # 10
I think around $50 is good. I’m doing a Tiffany necklace for mine, but I only have one bridesmaid and she is my FSIL. I also didn’t buy her dress, although I am paying for her makeup and my mom (a hairstylist) is doing her hair. If I had bought her dress, paid for hotel rooms, etc I probably wouldn’t be getting the necklace for her.
Post # 11
I’ve never had a dress paid for when I’ve been a bridesmaid. To me that would be gift enough! Maybe you could just write them each a nice thank you card and give them something sentimental but not super expensive? Like a bottle of wine they like or something?
Post # 12
I’ve never had a dress paid for when I’ve been a bridesmaid. To me that would be gift enough! Maybe you could just write them each a nice thank you card and give them something sentimental but not super expensive like a frame to put a picture of the two of you in?