Help! How to unravel an invite faux pas…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
724 posts
Busy bee

Can you email or call them directly ASAP and just apologize for the confusion and say that you would be delighted if they are able to attend?

I know it feels weird, but it’s going to be very awkward on their end if something doesn’t happen before “a few weeks” passes. Your mother jumped the gun [twice] but I don’t think it’s worth getting into it now that it’s done. Damage control is the priority.

Post # 4
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Call them and make it sound like you’d always planned on inviting them and are still putting together your contact list.

Post # 5
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@midwestgirl80:  As long as you do have the room I would email them immediatly and say it was just a misunderstanding and they were on the list the whole time and to look out for an invite. If you don’t yet have the room I would email them and say youd love for them to be there but are waiting to send out final invites until you know for certain what the capacity at the venue is and apologize if it sounded like you were making them a second thought because they are really important to you ect. Also BREATHE! It is a sticky situation but certainly does NOT make you the worlds worst person!!

Post # 6
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@midwestgirl80:  I like excitedtobeMRSF approach.  It sounds like the most polite way to explain your way out of this one!  And don’t feel bad about a ‘b’ list – I was so anti-b list before planning our own wedding, but now it’s a real possibility we have to address with a large guest list and a venue that just simply can’t accomodate!

Post # 7
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Unfortunately, I think you’re in the position where if they do not receive an invitation it will reflect badly on you and not your mother.

I think the best way to rectify this situation and not cause either you, your mother or the family friends any embarrassment would be to ring them as soon as possible and apologise for the confusion, stating that they most definitely are invited. I would explain that your mother was confused as you were wanting their address to organise your contact list, not send the invitations out yet – and also make sure your mother is aware you are handling the situation this way.

I know you do not want to increase your guest list and it sucks that you’re essentially forced into inviting people, but IMO it would be very rude to not invite them at this point.

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