Help, I can't take my SO's snoring anymore!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@animallover:  Girl I can so relate! My DH gained about 25-30 pounds within our relationship and the snoring was UNBEARABLE. I am the lightest sleeper ever so I hear you on the groggy days, it was terrible.

I don’t have any miracle cures or fixes, sorry! I have been encouraging my DH to lose a little weight to get healthy and at this point he has lost 20 pounds and guess what he no longers snores (he is doing couch to 5K). Just like that, poof, gone! He had sleep apnea too and that has gone away.

If your SO hates to jog why not try walking together at night perhaps after dinner? Doing things together might make it more enjoyable for him and we always push ourselves when someone else is holding us accountable. Are there any sports or hobbies that your SO enjoys? What about going for hikes on the weekend?

For people that are out of shape the idea of a routine jog/run is downright discouraging. Even I hate running and I am a fitness addict. When trying to adopt a new healthy lifestyle it is all about masking exercise and making it seem fun. Try out some activities together and see what works. Also, if you are cooking at home try healthier options or he cooks his own meal. Oh my that works like a charm on my DH!

Post # 4
15011 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

When Dh snores heavily, because of work conditions, I usually move to the couch. But, I am far way and can’t hear him from there. You going to have to sit him down one more time and explain how very serious this is and you may have to mention the weight, or if you can get him to a doctor you could mention that privately to the doctor before he goes. It may help your SO understand how serious this is for you if you were to suggest moving into a two bedroom and sleep separately.


Post # 5
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@animallover:  Oh girl, I sooooooo understand you! My SO and I don’t live together yet but when we were on holiday, his snoring got so bad one night that I slept in the bath tub! Thank goodness our hotel room had one! lol 

As I too am struggling with the same problem, I don’t really have any advice to give other than what PPs have already said. Something fun to do together may do the trick! Tennis, badminton, ballroom dancing maybe?

Good luck! 

Post # 6
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Go to your doctor. If the snoring is that bad and home remedies have not worked its time to consider sleep disorder testing. Maybe he needs CPAP or an oral appliance or positional therapy. He may have a deviated septum. 

Post # 8
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

This might be a strange suggestion but have you heard of those “snore strips”? They are sticky on one side, like a band-aid, and you put them on the nose of the snorer. It opens their nostrils more while they sleep. It may help some. They are called “Breathe Right”. 

Post # 9
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@animallover:  We have to sleep in separate bedrooms for the same reason. His snoring and my lack of sleep was causing a lot of resentment between us. Have you considered exercising together? It might be a more enjoyable incentive for him.

Post # 10
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@animallover:  I am going to be brutally honest here: the only way I get DH to be consistent about exercising is when I insist on us going together.  If I keep us on a schedule and we hit the gym together, it’s great.  But if I leave him to his own devices and expect him to do it alone, forget it.  I think that you should consider setting a schedule and exercising with him.  DH and I go 3-4 times a week bright and early at 7am before work for at least 30 minutes of exercise.

Post # 12
1503 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh, I completely sympathize. My FI snores all of the time. It’s awful. He’s actually agreed to try some kind of snore relief mouth guard, thank goodness. However, he likes to procrastinate also, so I’m not actually sure when that is going to happen. I actually had to sleep on the couch a few nights ago because he kept waking me up and I ended up throwing out my back.

I love the idea of the two of you working out together, as others have previously mentioned. I hope that your surgery went well and that you have a speedy and painless recovery!

Post # 13
5391 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@animallover:  I don’t like ultimatums but in this case, I would tell him that he either needs to seek medical help/lose weight/both, or else we move to a 2 bedroom place and sleep separately.

Sleep is extremely important to me, and I simply could not cope in your situation. He should see how much this is upsetting you and take steps to deal with it; given he doesn’t snore when he’s lighter, it would probably be simplest for him to just shed the extra weight, and maintain a lower weight. If however that isn’t sustainable long-term he should see a doctor; he may have sleep apnoea, for example, which is treatable with various things inc losing weight, stopping smoking, and cut down alcohol consumption, esp in the evening before bed. If it’s just snoring, the same also applies, and exercise can also help, as well as various devices inc nasal strips and dilators, and chin strips and vestibular sheilds (depending on whether he snores through his nose or mouth).

Post # 14
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Start waking his ass up when he snores, tell him you won’t stop until he sees a doctor about it.  If you can’t sleep, neither should he.  Or you move into your own place, whatever it takes.  Sleep is critical to health, both for you and him.

For the most part, I can sleep through FI snoring with ear plugs, sometimes I have to put a pillow over my head too.  If it is bad I kick him to wake him up and he switches sides and the snoring is less enough for me to sleep through.  I still think he needs to see a doctor about it to make sure there is no sleep apnea or anything else going on.

When I get home from work sometimes he is already snoring like a jet engine so I don’t even bother trying to sleep in the bedroom.  If I’m on the couch with the door closed and earplugs in I can usually sleep through his loudest snoring.

Post # 16
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012


Good for you. I agree with @barbie86 if this doesn’t get resolved soon (hopefully it does since you’re going to the doctor and he said he would loose weight) then I think you need a 2 bedroom apartment. 

Apparently up to 40% of couples sleep seperately.–IMPROVE-love-lives.html

It’s really more common than people may think it is. If it makes you happier and healthier then I think it is definitely worth it. You said you have a hard time sleeping when he isn’t in your bed. But you’re not sleeping at all when he is in your bed. So you can’t win either way. If the snoring doesn’t stop you might as well get used to sleeping on your own, at least you’ll get some sleep then!

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