HELP, I don't know what to do with my cats :(

posted 3 years ago in Pets
Post # 2
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

BurlapnLace:  Just wanted to say I feel your pain! We have had 2 cats and added 2 cats. One set upstairs, one set downstairs. They decided to introduce themselves by unlatching the door somehow and a huge fight broke out and now they are TOTALLY done with each other. It’s been this way for about 1.5 months. It sucks. Best of luck – those physical signs of stress are no good.

Post # 3
Member
2839 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

A week was probably not enough time. It’s definitely a good idea to separate them now and start the process over, more slowly this time. It’s usually easier for the newcomer to adjust than for the resident cat, so it’s not surprising that the Khaleesi is fine but Lucy is pissed. I would definitely separate them ASAP, though – first impressions are hard to erase, and if Lucy is already associating stress with the newcomer, you want to nip that in the bud.

I have two cats, and even with introducing them slowly, it took them a really long time to get used to each other. Even now, four years later, they still aren’t best friends – but they tolerate each other most of the time and will snuggle and groom each other now and then. 

So yeah, separate them and re-introduce slowly. Like, be prepared for it to take a few months. There’s lots of good advice online – like exchange their bedding so they can get used to each other’s scent, and feed them or give them treats at the door between their areas, so they associate the other cat’s smell with treats and food. Also, when they do share a space again, make sure there are at least two litter boxes – ideally three, but at least two – so they each have “a box of their own.” (With our cats, they’ll use each others sometimes but the bathroom box is mostly the female cat’s and the kitchen one is mostly the male’s.) 

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

3 weeks really isn’t very long in cat time to re-establish the hierarchy. It sounds like they jsut don’t have complementary personalities, and they’re fighting it out now. Poor Lucy is really stressed by Khaleesi acting like, well, a Khaleesi haha.

 

I’ve never tried this, but my friends SWEAR by calming phermone products, especially during times of change. Have you considered one? I think they need one plug-in per room where the cats spend a lot of time.

http://www.petsupplies4less.com/product.asp?itemid=2994&gclid=CKyvzbOBn74CFYuXOgodE3gABA

Post # 5
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Cats are resilient and are able to adapt quickly. Lucy is telling you that she’s not happy about the new situation but she’ll just have to get over herself eventually. She’ll come to terms with it. Give her time.

Post # 7
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with others to reintroduce very slowly, over months, exchanging bedding, feeding & treats only by the door, etc. Cats take a looooong time. I have one cat and one dog right now, and my cat was still warming up to us & learning to assert himself over a year later. And pheromone plug-ins are GREAT.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Feist.
Post # 8
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

 

BurlapnLace: We were in a similar situation to you. We adopted a 5-month old male kitten into our one-cat house–an older female.

I’m sorry to say, but she still hates him. She tolerates him mostly, but there are still a few spats–mostly at night, when we go to sleep, and he’s still full of playful energy. So it hasn’t gone away 100%. However, it’s definitely not nearly as bad as when we introduced them, and it sounds like we had a lot of the same issues you’re having: she wouldn’t poop in the litter box, but now she’s fine; she wouldn’t leave the bedroom, but now she does. I think maybe you just need to take the approach a bit slower and give it a bit more time, and maybe be prepared for the fact that it won’t ever be 100% awesome, but that it can still work!

Also, we’ve tried the pheromone thing! It worked very well for us on the older cat when FI (her person) went away for 2 months, but we didn’t find it to help that much in this situation. That said, we only went through one diffuser, and it may have worked better if we kept up with it.

Post # 9
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The puking I wouldn’t be too worried about, it’s spring so she might just be dealing with hairballs. The not pooping is a different issue all together. If you don’t have two litter boxes already you should install one asap. Cats can be very finicky with sharing their private space and if they don’t like it… well then they might find another place to go and you really don’t want that to happen.

Also, when we brought home our small cat our older cat pretty much hated his guts for the first month or so. Then we went to our cottage and it was cold and BAM, snuggling in bed with small annoying kitten was better than being alone and cold. They’ve been best friends (with an occasional fight) ever since, so things can change really quickly. As long as Lucy isn’t aggressively attacking Khaleesi I think you should just wait them out.

Post # 11
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

BurlapnLace:  

I’ve seen stuff like this before. It really depends on the personality of the cat. Some are more likely to accept a kitten than another grown (or almost grown) cat.

However there are things you can do. Take a towel and rub it over Lucy, and then rub that same towel over Khaleesi. That may help them get along a bit easier.

They might not become best friends, but if you give it time, they might establish a hierarchy and tolerate each other.

Post # 12
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

BurlapnLace: My experience is that it’s almost always the older cat that will have the problem, while the newcomer is usually rather happy go lucky. One thing we would do to have our kitties bond was to play with them at the same time – using the laser pointer, which they just can’t resist. Even if older cat didn’t want to have anything to do with small one… he just couldn’t help himself – he HAD to kill the evil red dot! Hang in there, there is hope – ours went from hissing and spitting and paws in the air (once again the older one) to this:

Post # 13
Member
2217 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

OP, I am in the process of introducing 2 cats right now as well so I know what you’re going through. We have a 3 year old and a new 9 week old kitten. For the first day, Roo (our older cat) didn’t go to the bathroom AT ALL. He didn’t pur when I pet him, I could tell he was stressed. And he hadn’t even met Pete yet, we were still confining him to the bathroom. It’s been about a week now and for the past few days, we let them have a small amount of time together to smell each other and establish the heirarchy. They play fight, but nothing too violent.

My advice is to keep them separated for a longer amount of time and let them have a small amount of time a day to smell each other. I hear great things about the hormone plug-in things. Might help calm down Lucy. It sounds like Lucy will take a long time to adjust, your cats may never be friends but they can at least tolerate each other. Just take things slow and Lucy will turn around. If there is a room that Lucy spends most of her time in, don’t let your new cat be in there quite yet. You don’t want Lucy to feel like her space has been taken from her.

Post # 15
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

BurlapnLace: Thank you! They’re birmans and are actually half brothers, but still no love in the beginning!

Love Lucy’s eyes, and I’m sure Khaleesi looks a little happier when she’s a little more at it! 🙂

I should add that the biggest cat issues I’ve ever encountered was when I moved from Sweden to Canada and I couldn’t bring my Norwegian forest cat with me. He had to move in with my parents, and my mums oldest cat was NOT impressed. It has been years since, and they’re still not anywhere close to being friends but at least they tolerate each other. I think the point when you might have to think about replacing one of the cats is when you end up with persistent behavioral problems (peeing or pooping outside the box) or if your cats actually fight on a regular basis (and it’s the real type of fighting, not just the “Ahahah… my paw isn’t in your face, the air is free!”).

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