Help! I don't want to invite babies!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Buzz_like_a_bee123:  just be prepared to accept that some people may not come if their infant is. It allowed to come. Especially breastfeeding mothers. 

Post # 4
Member
705 posts
Busy bee

I sort of let people know/ didn’t invite any children but I have one friend who will have a one month old and be breast feeding. I would rather have her there then have her not come cause she couldn’t feed her baby. If you really don’t want any babies or anything though I would just have a conversation with the person and explain it to them personally. 

Post # 5
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Buzz_like_a_bee123:  3 month old babies still eat and sleep most of the day. Have you checked with your venue to see what space is available if Mom wants to take babe out of the ceremony or reception for a while?

Many churches have a room where babies and children can be cared for and the parent can still see the wedding.

If they are coming from out of state and their other children are in the wedding, you can hardly tell the Mom she can’t come if she brings the baby.

Post # 6
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Since it’s your brother and he’s coming from out of state with a newborn and his kids are part of the wedding, I don’t see that you have much choice. Thankfully, a 3 month old baby won’t do much but sleep.

Post # 7
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If the other two children are in the wedding I don’t think you have a choice on this one.

Post # 9
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Buzz_like_a_bee123:  Typically a 3 month old is still breastfeeding, and if she is still doing this, I wouldn’t expect them or at least the mom to come. Babies at that age should still be eating and sleeping most of the time anyway, but if you don’t want the baby there just be prepared for them all not to show up.

Post # 10
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Buzz_like_a_bee123:  It’s fine to not want babies are your wedding.  That does not make you a bad person.  But you have to understand that you will get people declining because of it.  That does not make them bad people.

However, I think since FBIL’s other 2 kids are in wedding, you are kind of stuck.  It sounds like their family can either bring all the kids, or not come at all.  I’d let them bring the baby (they’re usually pretty quiet at that age) and just give them a heads up that there is a cry room/space where the mom can go if the baby starts fussing.

Post # 12
Member
6028 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

A 3 month old baby is still very dependent on the mother. There’s really no way around it unless, like you suggested, her mother come and watch the baby while they attend the wedding. However, I highly doubt that will happen.

Post # 14
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Buzz_like_a_bee123:  Just FYI I would leave first dances out of it. Adults are way more rude than children during the first dance…people sit and talk the whole time during a first dance. I think a baby would be the last thing you hear.

Post # 15
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Buzz_like_a_bee123:  I think their reaction will depend on how you approach the subject.

Rather than have an upfront conversation with them, that if the baby is crying, they will need to step outside at least at the church, speeches and first dances, I suggest you phrase it as a request.


You will  find that people generally respond better to a request than a demand.

Post # 16
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Are you going to pay for accommodating you FSILs mom’s travel expenses?  At mine I didn’t really care if there were babies/kids there everyone has them, they don’t bother me and without the kids we would have missed out on some cute pictures. 

My sil was breatfeeding and she found a quiet place to feed the baby, the baby was about 6mos and never cried out or anything at our wedding.  I don’t see the big deal about having a baby at your wedding.  It’s not like it’s your FI’s 3rd cousin… it’s his brother … the baby will be your niece/nephew.  

You can tell them not to bring the baby but my brother’s wife tried doing this at their wedding, and two of my brother’s friends rolled up with a newborn and the other couple had an 8mos old, both breastfeeding.  They were quiet too.   OH and guess who brought their baby to our wedding… yeah that same SIL that tried to exclude babies at hers.  You one day could be in the same situation….

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