Help I feel like I got pushed out, should I do anything?

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Help I feel like I got pushed out, should I do anything?

posted 3 years ago in Jewish

Member

294 posts

Helper bee

ju1244 11/1/08 New York City

Hi, I do need help to this basic question even tho it involves a Jewish custom--It is customary for a bride to buy a Tallis (kind of shawl) for her fiancee during the engagement time. My FI has a childhood friend who owns a business of making these very special ones--he lives in Israel so I was going to ask for his website-I've only met him once. However, recently he responded to our Engagement announcement and... he and my FI got into a dialogue about "Do you need a tallis? So my FI wrote back saying "Yes".

So, while I assumed it was something I would give him, both to follow tradition and because it might be a special gift to our own son in the future...looks like it is out of my hands. I dont want to appear ungrateful-I realise I can always buy him another for our first anniversary or something--should I just acknowledge that I believe they have it covered and be thankful? Or should I insist on giving it myself? Help, Please-Thanks

3 years ago

Member

684 posts

Busy bee

Soon2BeMrsC March 20, 2010 Wine Country

If it is important to you to be the one to give it, I would say tell your fiance about your feelings. Maybe you can be the one to pick it out and surprise your FI at least as far as that goes. I'm not Jewish, so I am not familiar with the custom, but I would assume that they don't all look exactly the same. That way you can feel like you still have a part in this special tradition.