(Closed) Help!! i found the ring…and i told him. Have i done the right thing?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: i found the ring and told him. Was it the right thing to do?
    Yes : (35 votes)
    69 %
    Maybe (please explain) : (3 votes)
    6 %
    No : (13 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Just make sure he knows it will be special no matter when it comes. And then… try to be patient? 

    I guess you could always ask him to marry you if he takes too long!  Laughing

    Post # 4
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    he has had the ring for a while (18 months)

    holy crap you are one PATIENT woman!  i dont care if there is an engagement every single day of the week – YOUR engagment is yours and it will be special whether none or ten friends get engaged. 

    my concern is while he is patiently waiting for everyone else to have their turn at being engaged – when exactly is your turn?  i mean what if someone gets engaged next week and then next month and then next summer – i think its ok to ask for an actual timeline as hes already had the ring for 18mths and other peoople keep getting engaged in the meantime

    Post # 6
    Member
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Yeah I just don’t understand why people feel like someone else’s engagement affects theirs – and he’s had this ring for 18 months?!!  omg.

    Well it’s obviously bound to happen sometime!  And no I dont think you did something wrong – maybe now he’ll, uh, move along with the process.  πŸ˜‰

    Post # 8
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    How do you suggest i broach the subject of a timeline with him now knowing that i know he has the ring? without sounding like im being a nag?

    this can be best answered by other bees who are subtle – i tend to tell hubby exactly what i want and when i want it, the sledge hammer method works well for me but i also understand he is really easy going and not all guys are like this

    Post # 10
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    How frustrating for you!  I think you absolutely did the right thing by telling him you found it.  It would probably make you feel anxious and guilty to try to act surprised when you weren’t–and you don’t want to remember your proposal that way!

    It sounds to me like he’s putting a lot of pressure on himself to do this exactly right (hiding the ring so carefully, replanning the proposal so it’s not too close to others, etc).  He may be making himself so nervous that he’s psyching himself out!  As for what to say to him,  just tell him exactly what you told us:  you feel terrible for finding the ring, you can’t stop thinking about it, you’re so glad he cares enough to be putting this much thought into it, but honestly all you care about is that you get to officially be engaged to him.   This might give him the reassurance he needs to just go for it!

    Good luck!

    Post # 12
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I will add that I semi-proposed to my fiance and I don’t regret it at all.  We had just finished a conversation where we both openly agreed that we wanted to get married.  I realized that it was going to be impossible for me to wait for an indeterminate amount of time before he proposed, so I basically said–I don’t think I can wait, so can we skip the waiting part and just be engaged?  He asked if I was proposing and I basically said yes and asked if he would marry me. 

    (I did get the official one-knee surprise proposal with the ring a couple weeks after that!)

    Post # 13
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Glad to help!  Don’t forget to fill us in on how it goes!

    Post # 15
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Sounds like a fellow bee who found her engagement ring as a soon-to-be-FI was moving it from his hiding spot inside his computer casing! As far as I remember, things worked out well for her, so no worries πŸ™‚

    Post # 16
    Member
    4014 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Aww you are a patient woman! lol! Im sure your proposal will be special no matter what! My 2 best friends are twins and one got engaged last month, and the other a few days ago! Mine is coming up here shortly also! We LOVE that we all got engaged around the same time and it doenst take away from “our” proposal time at all!!

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