- Miss Converse
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Bees, This is a very touchy subject for me, but I seriously need HELP!My parents divorced when I was 4 years old, because my dad was abusive to my mom.My dad was financially in my life my whole life, however I rarely saw him. After I graduated highschool I began to have a good relationship with him, talking to him every other day, or more, communicating through email- etc… (He works out of the country) So, all that’s just history- lets get to the real issue here.
My dad dated a woman my whole life, in Dec ’10 they broke up, leaving us (his children) confused, as well as the ex girlfriend whom we had grown a good relationship with. I never expected her not being my dads date to my wedding, as she is such a big part of why my dad & I have grown such a good relationship over the past years. In March of this year he brings a new woman to meet me, I hate her from the very instant I met her. She’s very rude, intimidating, self centered, and tries SOOO hard to impress me, my fiance, my brother, my nephew, my mom.. just everyone. She’s not impressive. She goes on & on about her amazing kids, car (she drives a jeep for God’s sake), her job, her house, how she has a condo in DTHouston that she allows her 21 year old daughter to live in rent free, yada, yada, yada…. She’s even gone in & started remodeling my dads house while he’s out of town. He seems to be just head over hills over this lady, which is why it’s so hard to me to tell him how much I really do dislike her & never want to see her again. I try my hardest to show my emotions while she is around without being down right rude to her, but really- she is rude to me, in front of my dad. She barely aknowledges me when I’m around & my dad’s attention is fully on her. I dont want to say I’m jealous- but obviously, I want my dads attention. 🙁
He is paying for the full wedding. Close to 20k, which is a lot of money. I dont know what to do, or say about this to him without him thinking I’ve totally lost my mind. I dont want her at my wedding. I know this was such a big, big ramble. I didn’t get everything out that I needed to, but does ANYONE have advice, or have I really lost my mind? Is it even right for me to ask him not to bring her? I’ve asked friends & family– some say he should honor my feelings & some say it’s not right for me to ask him not to bring her… tell me how you feel, has anyone been there?
I wont get my feelings hurt, just be honest. Thanks in advance.
I’m not trying to chose who he dates, I only get to see him 2 days a month & I think he could leave her behind just for the time he has with me. They’re not super serious, it might be a little easier to except if they were & I knew she was always going to be a part of my life. I just kept waiting for her to disappear & she didn’t. But thanks for everyone’s honest opinion. Only the people who know & love me are the ones agreeing with me. But they also know the full situation of my dad & I’s relationship & how everytime I have to go around her, I leave completely hysterical of how she acts towards me. I’ve never had to deal with something like this…. It’s hard. I think I am “grown up”, I dont feel like this issue has to do with growing up, if I were 40 years old I would still feel the same way.