Help! I need some advice..I'm not sure what my husband and I should do:/

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: What should we do?
    Go to Vegas for Bachelorette/Bachelor party! : (12 votes)
    10 %
    Don't go! Celebrate your 1st Anniversary and save that money for a house! : (108 votes)
    90 %
  • Post # 3
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @inlove427:  How good is yours and your husbands relationship with her? While there’s not a whole lot you can do about the cost of the wedding, I don’t think its totally unreasonable to perhaps skip the vegas trip. Just have a chat with them and see how they feel about it. Do they know money is tight for you and that you’re saving a deposit? They may be completely understanding, you never know! I would be!

    I’m of the opinion that yes, a wedding is one of the most important/special times in your life but you shouldn’t be sending other people broke because of it.. including family.

    In regards to the anniversary part, I totally get that that’s a special day but I wouldn’t emphasise that as the reason to them. You can always celebrate it the following weekend.

    Post # 4
    2894 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Can you go to Vegas but spend some time with just the two of you on your own to celebrate your 1 year anniversary?

    I’d also check with his parents to make sure they’re ok with it, since you’re living with them while saving. 

    It’s just tough since it’s a special time for both of you – your 1 year and his sister’s wedding festivities. 

    Post # 5
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @inlove427: I can’t believe this is even a question. Destination bachelor/ettes should always be optional. Celebrate your anniversary.

    What did you do for your bachelorette?

    Post # 6
    4750 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @inlove427:  IMO, the parties are not that important….and less so when it’s a bridal party of 20!!! Just be honest, and tell her that with the cost of going to Hawaii, you just can’t do both trips and that you’re sorry to miss out and hope she has a great time. I personally wouldn’t spend the money for a bachelorette party to Vegas when I have other important things to save my money for.

    Post # 7
    42157 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I see a disconnect between goals and behavior if you go to Vegas. Your goal is to buy a house, not have a party weekend.

    Post # 8
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I could NOT handle living in his parent’s house for a second longer than absolutely necessary! So I wouldn’t go to Vegas.

    Post # 9
    6692 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Forget the destination bachelorette party, couples who have destination weddings that cost  $2000 to attend can not legitimately expect people to attend either!

    I agree that you don’t need to mention anything about your own anniversary. 

    Post # 11
    757 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I vote no to Vegas.  I think your reasons are legitemate for not going.  Also, as someone who is also saving for a down payment, I completely understand that every penny counts, and I think she will too!

    Post # 12
    3251 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I would definitely not go on the trip! That is a lot of money!!! They have to understand that not everyone can make a destination trip.

    Post # 13
    6977 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    There’s no way I would go!

    Post # 14
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I would not go to this, its a waste of money in my opinion. I’m a cheapskate lol

    I would (or have your husband) talk to your FSIL and let her know that you both wanted to go to the party, but its just too cost-prohibitive. Like other PPs mentioned, if they’re having a destination wedding, they should be understanding. Your husband sounds like he wants to go though, which is totally understandable, but like a pp mentioned, going to the party would directly, negatively affect your ability to buy a house soon, on top of other expenses. I would find out exactly why your husband wants to go. Maybe you could throw a small celebration for FSIL after the bachelorette with your ILs as a compromise.

    Good luck!

    Post # 15
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I 100% agree with @aussiemum1248: & @julies1949: & @BrandNewBride:  

    I would not be going.  Period !!

    As if $ 2000 isn’t enough of a FAVOUR for this Couple’s Wedding ???

    Now they are looking for you to fork out another $ 500 to $ 700 for a trip to Las Vegas ???

    Seriously, this Bride & Groom need a good shake…

    And I’d start by telling them altho you LOVE the fact that they are getting Married… you guys are Newlyweds with your own goals… and it isn’t to live with HIS (and Her) Parent’s FOREVER

    And certainly not at the expense of His Sister’s WANTS for an over-the-top Wedding Celebration

    “So sorry, but in light of your having a Destination Wedding, and us on a tight Budget… Vegas is out”

    The $ 500 to $ 700 saved will buy you guys Dinner for your Anniversary, and a nice piece of furniture for your new home.

    Lol, in the future you can invite your SIL & Her New Hubby over to sit in your Living Room on the aptly named “Vegas Loveseat”

    Wink *wink*


    Post # 16
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I love love Vegas, I can’t wait until my next trip which will hopefully be this summer.  But if I were you and in your situation I would think to myself “wow that would be so fun, wish I could go.” add in a sad face 🙁  But it wouldn’t even be an option,  you are already spending so much money on the wedding and there is no reason to spend more.  Yeah a weekend away would be fun but it isn’t worth it. 

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