(Closed) Help! I think my boss hates me…

posted 8 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’vegot some experience with bad bosses.  I hate to say it, but my female boss was worse than my male boss. Mostly because she acted like she was in high school, excluding people and talking behind their backs.  Sounds like your might be similar.

What makes you think she isn’t jealous?  The first thing I thought was I bet she’s older and single.  Sometimes career women have a hard time meeting men.  (Work long hours, the independence thing is a put off, etc.)  Perhaps she’s questioning some of her life choices.   If she isn’t jealous, she might  be feeling like it is difficult to relate to you, now.  You’ll be entering a chapter she just doesn’t know.

Or perhaps she’s concerned that you’ll be having children soon, and quit your job.  I think it was a sociology class from college, that I heard, the most reliable male worker is a married one.  (Won’t just quit his job because he has a family to support.)  But the most reliable female worker is a single one.  (The married ones might leave to have families.)  Sure a lot want/have to stay.  But many leave for the kiddos, too.

Post # 4
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

She may be a ‘different type’ of jealous.  The best thing you can do at this point is to not let it bother you =) I have a few people at work that have acted different toward me, but after they realized that I wasn’t engaged just to flaunt it out or  anything, they warmed back up…so just hang in there =)

Post # 5
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t know what kind of relationship you had with this boss before. Is it possible that she was always be it cold but you are only now realizing it because you have worked for her longer? Like Tanya, my first thought was also, she must be older and single so it could just be that she is a bit jealous or does not know how to realte to you.

Post # 6
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m not sure what type of work you do or why you’re concerned about your boss joking around and leaving you out, but I wouldn’t expect more than a one sentence congrats from my boss. Even if we have an interest in our personal lives, we’re at work to do our jobs, not chat about our personal lives. As a step beyond what Tanya mentioned, are you distracted at work now because you want to talk about your engagement, or look at wedding stuff during work?

It’s a tough balance because you spend so much time with your coworkers and may consider them friends, but you shouldn’t expect your boss to dote on you like a mother or friend. Just keep it professional at work in case she really is jealous or spiteful, that way you won’t jeapordize time off you might need her to approve.

And from this end … congrats!

Post # 8
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I had the same cold shoulder from my boss.  She just looked at my hand really quickly and said “oh that’s nice” and walked away.   She didn’t ask ANYTHING about the wedding the entire 14 months we were engaged and since the wedding (almost a year ago) has never said anything about it.  I just ignore her and go about my day

Post # 9
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

if it’s any help, my wedding is next week and my boss has been joking for about 2 weeks now that i really should reconsider getting married at all.. let’s just say the joke is wearing thin.

maybe your boss is more worried about what your getting married / planning a wedding / moving on to another stage in life will do to your commitment to your job, etc?

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