Post # 1
My Fiance and I spent New Years Eve with a close college friend of ours and his new Fiance. We went to a game, then out to dinner; it was great time until . . . they told us the planned date for their wedding. My Fiance is in another close friends wedding on that exact date and this couple was planning on asking him to be the best man in theirs . I feel terrible, they were totally crushed and she has spent this past week booking all of her major vendors.
I know there is nothing that we can do, but I still feel terrible. Bees have you been in this situation? Do couples move their dates for the bridal party? I don’t want to cause them any grief and we already did; we told them whatever they decide we are 100% supportive and will do our best to make it work.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t feel guilty. Your Fi is super loved and respected to be asked TWICE for a one day event! My advice: Give them a great gift and wish them well on their wedding day!
Btw, I wouldn’t suggest moving their date to them.
Post # 4
My matron of honor was asked to be matron of honor in another wedding the same day as ours… Even after she specifically told her other friend that she was available any day next summer except our date… There’s not much anyone can do, it’s a frustrating situation, but the world doesn’t revolve around any one couple’s wedding… In our case, I am very type A and have had everything booked since last June for an August 2011 wedding and the other bride did not set their date until December.
I agree with beekiss2 and take the money you would have spent traveling to their wedding, tux rental, etc. and get them an awesome gift they can use for years after the wedding.
Post # 5
We actually moved our wedding date for that reason. DH’s college roommate and really close friend was engaged 3 weeks before us (although they weren’t dating as long) and Darling Husband was asked to be a groomsman. When we got engaged we started talking about July 10 and Darling Husband asked his friend to be the best man. Well, after we mention July 10 they decided they wanted July 17. We either had to rush our honeymoon, delay the honeymoon, hope they changed their date or change ours. We just changed ours to June 26. She ended up calling off their wedding the week before ours.
Post # 6
Oh how terrible! At least you know that he is so well loved that 2 of his close friends requested he be in their wedding. Whatever they decide to do just be as supportive as you can.
I agree with PP’s in sending a really amazing gift and a nice card.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t feel too bad because if they really care about your husband being there as soon as they picked a date they would have said, “We are thinking of having our wedding [date]. Does that work for you? Will you be available? Please mark it in your calendar.” Then they would have booked all of the vendors then sent Save-The-Date Cards. So it was really their bad, not yours.
Post # 8
@Miss Yoga Pants: You didn’t ruin their day at all! I know when Fiance and I were planning to set our date, we checked with all the people we could NOT bear to not have come to make sure that date worked for them too. Obviously this was primarily our parents, but, the way I see it is… if this other couple really really really NEEDED your Fiance to be the best man, they would have asked him if the date would work for him ahead of time. Obviously, they would love for him to be in their wedding, but I think they would also understand him remaining true to his prior committments. you know? good luck and no stressing! not your fault at all! 🙂
Post # 9
Can’t do anything about it! They’ll have to decide whether to change their date or not. I wouldn’t suggest it to them.