Post # 1
Okay, so my beloved has been seperated now for….20 months! 20! Yet, not divorced. She cheated blah, blah and is crazy! Walked out on him and his son. It was his ex’s sister who set us up just to let you know how great he is.
Anyway I am wondering how inappropriate it is to get engaged before the divorce is finalized and is it wrong to go ahead and make plans for the wedding. How long should we wait after it is finalized before we say “I DO”?
Post # 3
My Fiance was still married going through a divorce when we met, we were together 3 years before it was final, and engaged a little over a year after it was final. I suggest not rushing it, let the divorce be final first, because divorces are messy!, and a lot of emotions will occur between now and then. Same situation too, she left him for another man and left the kids behind too!
Post # 4
Thanks for that. It’s nice knowing I’m not the only one who has been there. It’s just hard because we really want to get married this year, and had set tentative dates back in Dec. of 2009….I’m starting to get discouraged!
Post # 5
As long as you are content that the divorce will be finalized in time go ahead and book. My FI’s ex took off 13 years ago he never got the divorce and no one including her family knew where she was. Needless to say it was not an easy process and we kept putting off the engagement waiting for the divorse to finalize. I was getting nuts because we had a specific date in mind and we started planing but did not get engaged. Eventually the lawyer told us we were in the clear that the divorece would be finalized in time and we started to put down deposits. I got my ring this weekend on the beach where we will have our wedding. You know the divorce is going to happen so do the engaement plan your wedding and try not to fixate on it. I know thats not easy trust me we still dont have the papework either.
Post # 6
I think you should wait until a divorce is under way at least, that way you can be sure that that step will take place…
Post # 7
Im going through it now and we THOUGHT the divorce would be final by our wedding date (obviously) but its not looking so good. However, we’re going through with everything because the date is set, things are paid for and everyone knows about it. We’re having my fiance’s brother do the ceremony so he’s the only one that will know we’re not ACTUALLY getting married. When his divorce is final, we’ll be going in front of a justice of the peace and doing it just him and I.
Post # 8
We had a similar situation. We were both seperated and had filed for divorce when we met. When we started talking about getting engaged, I insisted we both be divorced before becoming engaged. In My Humble Opinion, I felt that you can’t be married to another and engaged to be married at the same time… I just felt it wasn’t right or fair to me. Cause when you tell people your engaged, all they would ask about is you both or one of you still being married…uugghh
Post # 9
Wait until the divorce is final to pick the wedding date. You never know what legal troubles might ensue, and the last thing you want is for your wedding date to come and for you not to be able to legally wed.