Post # 1
So I just blew up at my Bf for being such a wimp and not having proposed to me…I know its stupid, I know he’s planning on doing it but I can’t take it anymore. I know I want to marry him but not like this…I feel like his family controls his entire life (including when he can propose to me) I’m so ANGRYYY right now, I said so many hurtful things to him and he just told me “I know u don’t want to be with me” which is totally not true! I called him a wimp for not having proposed b/c its been 3 yrs! Now I’m sitting in my room crying while he’s downstairs…what do I do…what do I say I don’t want to go down there and apologize.
Post # 3
Calm down, first of all. Take a hot shower or bath. Read a book. Just get into another mind right now and gather your thoughts. Lots of hugs, I wish I had more advice but I just can’t think of anything to say right now 🙁
Post # 4
Sometimes we need to apologize even if we don’t want to. Can you sit with him and calmly explain why you feel how you feel? If nothing else, just tell him that you love him and that you do want to be with him but arrange a time later, when you are both calmed down, to talk quietly.
Good luck hon. There are so many emotions that we have to deal with in regards to wedding and engagement stuff.
Post # 5
You know you said mean things, but you don’t want to apologize?
I think you should rethink that. Whether or not your anger is justified doesn’t excuse bad behavior. It’s a tough situation to be in, and I am sure that it is not easy for him, either. You both need to sit down and talk calmly. Good luck!
Post # 6
Oh Crazy, it’s okay! We all have flipouts about dumb things and this isn’t that dumb! Calm down, breathe for now. Then go down and apologize. Tell him you love him and there’s some truth to what you said, but you didn’t meant to be so hurtful. Give him a big hug!
Post # 7
I so know how u feel! I remember being so upset that we’ve been 2gether for 4 years and nothing. But, you have to be patient, I know it’s hard! I know you don’t want to apologize..but you really should. Even though you feel you guys should be engaged at this point, you don’t know what all he has in store for you two. Please go kiss and make up. Maybe he’ll give u some reassurance when you go to him and just tell him, in a calm manner, why you are so upset.
Post # 8
@Crazy…I wouldn’t say anything to him now. Just de-stress and make a list. The list should have all of the obstacles you feel are in the way of him proposing and how it makes you feel. If it’s his family..explain how you feel it’s interfering with you guys moving forward…and so on and so forth. Go over the list multiple times and pick out the most pressing items and set a time to talk to him about it. You owe him an apology for screaming at him…but if what you are saying is true I don’t necessarily know that you owe him an apology for that.
Post # 9
We had that fight too! And I hate apologizing, even when I *know* it’s my fault, even when I know I should (I just got in a fight with my fiance and it took me two days to call to say I was sorry…we’re long-distance, but still, that’s how I am, I suck LOL)
Let it sit for a while, then take all the other bee’s advice – apologize. I totally understand where you are coming from and have THE WORST temper, but apologizing always puts things to right and it will make you both feel better!
Post # 10
Agree with Amarylis. Take some time to calm down and recenter yorself and then apologize. Regardless of whether or not your anger and frustration are justified, that doesn’t give you the right to call someone else names.
Post # 11
Sorry, but I think you need to go down there and apologize. If you want him to stay in your life, you need to make him feel like you want him in your life. If I were you, I would go “kiss and make up”.
Post # 12
You know this happened to me last year on our vaca in Hawaii. It was our 3 year dating aniversary and we were in the most romatic place on EArth but no ring. I had friends and family calling and texting everyday asking if he had popped the question yet. So on the 2nd to last day I blew it while hiking. I was tired from all that we had been doing for the week, tired from the hike, and sad that it hadn’t happened yet, and embarrassed that my family and friends were expecting good news on the return trip home. I cried and told him he should find someone else that was more his type because obvisouly I wasn’t or he’d have proposed by now. And some other things. He told me to calm down and that he was going to but the time wasn’t right. He wanted to wait until after my brother’s wedding the following week. I understood that but at the sametime was being a crazy emotional person.
I apologized later that evening and said I just was feeling pressure from all my friends/family and just feeling insecure about our future. The next day we went ring shopping and found my ring! He proposed a month later.
So go wash off the tears take a deep breath and go tell him your sorry for being a crazy girl right now but that you love him and want to be with him. And you wish that the next step was sooner. Good luck!
Post # 13
i agree with everyone else.. cool down, take a bath.. and definately apologize.
its a frustrating time when you feel ready and stuck in waiting.. every girl goes a little crazy sometimes.
Post # 14
I think you definetly need to apologize for the hurtful things that you said to him, it doesn’t seem like he deserved that. At least tell him you are sorry and you should have communicated to him better.. Sounds like you let everything bottle up too long! I haven’t had to deal with the “waiting period” so im sure its soo frustrating. But he could have had something really special planned for you..
Post # 15
I agree with apologizing. You said hurtful things to him. How do you think he’a feeling right now…that last thing that he said was that he knows you don’t want to be with him.
Take time to calm down and think everything through, then go down and talk to him.
Post # 16
Thanks for the support girls! The funny thing is its not like I’m desperate to get married or reaching the point of being “over the hill” (ONLY 23). I guess I’ve always been a romantic and had this notion that when the right guy came along he would propose within the first 2 years…and since that obviously didn’t happen (although still could b/c our 3rd yr anniversary isn’t for another month) its got my vision all out of sorts! I know I’m being unrealistic and I don’t know where I got that magical number from-guess it just seems like a good time frame.
UPDATE on the fight: We talked about it some more last night b/c he just kept asking me what was wrong and being very aggressive about it, although at that point I just wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be ok. Out of frustration I spilled my guts and said more hurtful things (about his family and how I think he is waiting on them to give him the go ahead as to when he can propose) he said he would propose on his own time, nothing to do with them or my timeline, which I later on apologized for. He said if I would just be patient for a couple more weeks (which would be before our 3rd yr. anniversary) than everything would “work out.” I tend to suck the surprise out of EVERYTHING he does for me, poor guy…I want to be surprised but now I’m kinda expecting it which is crappy. He knows I want to be surprised so I may have just thrown a wrench in his plan!….Did I inadvertently prolong my engagement! UGGHH I could just kick myself!
Its like a catch-22 I want to be surprised but I keep asking him questions which makes him frustrated and then he tells me a bit, which makes me mad b/c I don’t wanna know!