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Hire a pro that you LOVE and let them know that Uncle Joe will be tagging along as well. Tell Uncle Joe that as much as you love him you've decided to go a different route with your photos. Tell him he is more than welcome to shadow your actual photog if he wants to.
I would do something in between being honest and looking for another photographer. If he's looking to get into the business, you're not doing him any favors by not telling him what you don't like. The only reason why I say that is because he's family, otherwise it would be "thanks, but we're heading in another direction artistically". I'd look at it in a constructive light (i.e: "we have a few concerns that we'd like to address regarding the artistry. A lot of couples these days prefer...") and then do another photo shoot. After that if he's still not what you're looking for, go with another photographer.
I would recommend looking for another photog and take the angle that you wanted more than one for a variety of styles and also so nothing is missed! Be positive and act like it is the greatest idea ever... but tell him shortly before - no need to let him know yet.
I would just explain to yoru uncle that you want to make sure every moment gets captured. Also, let him know that you think its great that he get some shots for his portfolio, but you decided to hire someone to ensure that your uncle gets some quality time with the family and can also participate with the dancing, ect instead of just working all night.
I would suggest you have two photographers. You can hire the photographer you wanted originally and also your uncle. Your uncle isn't charging you, so you will not be out any extra money to include him. Besides, you can never have too many photographers. Just tell him that you are super exicted to be fortunate enough to have two really great photographers.
I vote for having your uncle and another photographer. And just let your uncle know how happy you are that due to his generous gift your dream of having two photographers can be realized! And he'll get the chance to enjoy his niece's wedding a little bit.
You only get one shot at this. THere's no room for subpar family photography on your wedding day. Seriously - find another photographer. He can take a job off of craigslist to get the shots he needs to build his portfolio.
@Arachna:That's actually not a good idea unless the *real* pro you are hiring is ok with it. THey could really end up being in each other's way, and it is unreasonable to expect the pro to work with someone in that manner unless it has been contractually agreed upon prior to the job (it actually says in my photography contract that I can't do that, and that was standard with photographers I looked at)
@crayfish: I have never seen that in the contracts I have looked at. Her uncle does not have to work with the photographer. They can both take their own professional pictures at the same time. I have seen more than one photographer serveral times, and it has never caused a problem.
What we said to some friends who wanted to be our photographers was that we really didn't want to have friends as photographers--we wanted someone we could write negative reviews about or even sue if things went wrong, without it breaking up a friendship.
And of course, you can tell him that you'd love to have him taking pictures in addition to the professional.
My friend's got married 4 years, and the bride's uncle used to be a photographer (very similar story to your uncle). She went with him for their wedding photos because they were trying to save a little money, and she totally regrets it. My friend Luke (the groom) always jokes that they should have hired a real photographer because 4 years later she still complains about their wedding pictures. The point is that you only have one wedding day and one chance at wedding pictures. If photography is important to you, which it sounds like it is, then you need to go with a professional whose style you really like.
I think the only way to be diplomatic (especially with families since they can be sensitive) would to be to get a professional photographer in addition to your uncle, and contact the photographer you're interested in and see if he would be willing to do that, as a PP mentioned that it might be an issue.
Please hire a pro. As a bride who is disappointed in her (pro) wedding pictures, I can tell you that it's really important and worth the investment.
Just tell your uncle that you want him there are your uncle and a guest and then offer to get dressed up and do a formal bridal portrait shoot with him for his portfolio. Then you get to wear your dress twice too!
Look for a new photographer! A friend of mine recently got married and got photos taken by a family friend (supposedly a pro "photographer). However... she cried when she got her wedding pictures in. They aren't at ALL what she wanted. You don't want to put yourself through that - get a new photographer!
We are one of the pros that DO NOT allow other pro photogs to shoot at the wedding and here is why:
There are already two of us and we work every wedding together. It's sort of a dance we do and we have a good way of communicating with out talking and know when we are in a certain position where we need to be so we are not in the shot.
In the industry amateur and other semi pros are called "uncle bobs" and it makes our job 100 times more difficult because we are competing for the same shots. If it's important for him to "get the shot" for his portfolio, you bet he's going to be shooting over my shoulder and stepping in front of me or is standing right behind the couple.
Not knowing this person at all or how they shoot or them not knowing how I shoot can mean either they are in your photos or I am missing shots because they are distracting me or they are just in the shot and it losses it's wow factor the B&G hired me for.
We don't ever allow anyone else to shoot the formals since we like images where everyone is looking at the same camera.
Although, it's in my contract we still get one ever few weddings. This summer I have two really bad examples of this. The first he decided to step in the middle of the isle as the bride walked down with her dad. Yep, we missed those shots because uncle bob decided his shot was more important. The second was when he decided the best shots were from behind the officiate the entire wedding. So he is in EVERY photo 4 feet from the couple during their ceremony. Same wedding he PUSHED me out of the way to get his cake shot, I almost dropped my camera. AND this was after we already gave him the "bride and groom paid a big sum of money for us to provide them with these images do you mind staying out of our way." speech.
For them it's a competition to show up the pro and devalues the images they can give you.
Photography has come a very long way in the last ten years, it's not like riding a bike that once you stop you can just hop back on. Style isn't something can can just be imitated by looking at someone else's photos. It has taken me YEARS to develop my artistic style and I didn't do it looking at other photographers websites I did it from going out and shooting.
Now for handling your uncle. I would sit him down and explain to him that although you think he is talented his skills just are not what you envisioned for your wedding day. Offer to get dressed back up and have a rock the dress session and he can practice and use those images for his portfolio. Offer to go through the images and as hard as it may be tell him what you like and don't like about the images this will help him become a better photographer. Let him know he's more then welcome to bring his camera to the wedding but to please let the pros to the job you paid them to do.
Good luck, and don't forget to keep us updated on your decision. It's good to hear how people resolve their issues on these boards.
I would talk to him about your concerns, and ask him to re-do your e-shoot, if you honestly want to help him get back into the business. Sounds like his old style isn't going to hack it in today's market!
@Mamasita2004: a second shooter that a photographer has chosen to work with is entirely different than a second separate photographer, and if she is trying to make her uncle think that he is a second photographer of equal footing to avoid hurting his feelings, I see that going badly. I really think that is she goes that route, she needs to be upfront with the photographer about her plans (this is coming from someone who actually has done wedding photography btw)
I don't think I'd have him shadow your main photographer for reason @PizzutiStudios stated. When I asked a friend about how her photographer was to work for, she said they were great and very nice, but one got a little annoyed by the amount of people who kept trying to take pictures over them. There should be one (or a set that work well together) photographers to capture 'the' moments, and I would not want a distraction or anything to get in their way. Unless you speak to them and they are ok with it. Personally, I would not compromise on the pics and let him take them if you're really not happy.
I'd volunteer more time and e-sessions perhaps anytime he needed subjects to get him more practice. And even the day of the wedding, I'd try to set aside some extra time for him to do maybe the couples formal/fun shots (can never have too much of those) and then have him do more party and guest shots to really work on capturing the moment and lighting, etc.
THANK YOU all for your input, it's really calming to hear that I'm not the only one that would "freak out" about this. Luckily, my FH and Mother agreed about the pictures so we'll have to see what happens next... I'm definately leaning towards trying to find a more established pro to go with..... Keep the advice coming, we can use all we can get! :)
I agree with EVERYTHING that Pizzuti Studios said. We too, do not allow other "professional" photographers at weddings we shoot. It is explicitly stated in our contract and we go over that part specifically when we sit down with couples to sign the contract.
I understand you feeling obligated to him because he's family and because he's offering this as a gift. You mentioned he was also planning on using pictures from your wedding as marketing materials for the re-launch of his business.
I would explain to him kindly that you'd like him to be able to enjoy the wedding and not have to worry about taking pictures on the actual day of. Instead say that you'd love to have a portait session with just him and your new husband on a day AFTER the wedding. You can get all dressed up in your wedding outfits again, and if you're up for it, even get hair and makeup done again.
You'll have more time to take pictures and you'll be more relaxed because you're not worrying about these being the "real" wedding pictures and all you'll get.
Definitely try to discourage him from bringing his big camera/lenses/flashes to the wedding, because he will get in the main photographer's way.
Even if the pro you choose doesn't have it explicitly in their contract that other photographers are supposed to keep their cameras to themselves, you can tell a little white lie and tell your Uncle they do ;)
Good luck!
P.S. He's a picture of a bride's "Uncle Bob" from a wedding I did last year. This could be you!! Don't let it happen!
Good choice with deciding with going with a pro. Family and friends should be enjoying and celebrating your wedding day, not worrying about the shots to be taken, what kind of settings that need to be changed, etc.
@Pizzuti, third times a charm. Did you mention that to the b+g, the uncle bob's activity? Cause that was insanely rude and if it were me, I would depart.
It also depends a little bit on what you want from the photography.
Re what all the photographers are saying about "uncle bobs" "getting in the way" of "must have shots" ( I think these are all good points and make sense).
But for me there is no such thing as "must have shots" - I couldn't care less if our photographer gets any particular shots. I want at least one good picture with my FI and I want nice pictures of several family members somewhere. That's it for must haves. For me photos are just about remembering the day. Any decent photographer should be able to get some great/nice shots even if other people are taking pictures.
And frankly it depends on who uncle bob is - having my grandfather be happy on my wedding day is way more important to me than making it easier on my photographer or getting any particular shots.
Plus 1 to what pizzuto said. The only place I might disagree is about actually going over uncle bob's photos with him and tell him what you do and don't like about them. Lets not add insult to injury here. Besides, it seems like what you don't like about his images are completely style based, so critisizing his style doesn't really make him a better photog. I only MIGHT make him consider a fresher style if he chooses to go in that direction. Some people still like the old classics I'm sure.
UPDATE:
Whew -- this was a tough one but we're finally working it out and I'm feeling the stress start to dwindle. We decided to be honest, but nice, about our concerns with the pictures and my uncle responded and apologized for the confusion -- he said he wasn't planning to offer the type of photos that I was looking for and would understand if I went elsewhere. I can tell his feelings are little bit hurt but I think we're actually going to order a couple of the shots he took for our grandparents (they like those uber-traditional head shots). Overall, I think it's settled....just need to find a pro (with the style we want) that isn't booked yet which has proven to be TOUGH so far. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
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Ok bees -- i'm fighting back the tears!
After about a month of sifting through local wedding photographers and meeting the ones that caught my eye, I managed to narrow it down to a great artsy, photo-journalistic type photographer with great style... Then my uncle annouced that he was getting back into the photography business and wanted to shoot our pictures "as his gift to us". My Uncle was a successful photographer about 10 years ago, but gave up the business when his wife got sick... now that things have settled down he is ready to open up the studio again... but alot has changed in 10 years so I was leary about if he'd be able to provide us with the type of photos we were hoping to get. ....Well I showed him the websites of pictures I liked and he was very confident that he could do the same type of photography and assured us that was the sort of stuff he wanted to get into, so we decided to give him a shot.
We had some engagement pictures taken yesterday and they just sent them to me... I'm not impressed. I'm not even close to satisfied. I'm disapointed and even sad. Don't get me wrong the pictures aren't HORRIBLE, but they are not at all the style that I wanted. They are very posed-looking and just don't look natural. The lighting isn't that great either... shadows on our faces and stuff like that which we wouldn't have with a "higher quality" photographer.
So what do we do now...??? Our wedding isn't until June 2011 so in theory we could look for another photographer and re-think our budget to pay for it. But since he's family... and he's kind of counting on our photos to use for his marketing for the new studio you can see how it's complicated. I am stressed and totally torn by this!! I don't want to offend any family members or act like I'm "better than his work" but I just feel like I'm not getting what I want...and we only get to do this ONCE.
Please offer some advice!!!! Thanks ladies.