Post # 1
after lurking on this forum for weeks now i think i need some advice…
i’ve been with my bf for almost 5 years now and we’ve been living together for 3. lately he’s been talking about marriage much more and told me he wants to setlle down. then one day he asked me what type of ring i wanted. we picked one out online. one week later he jokes about my rings and is wearing them and asks me where i keep them. then a few days later one of my rings went missing and in an effort to cheer me up and buy me a new one (which is completely out of charachter for him, he usually doesn’t pay that much attention to if i loose anything or not) he takes me to the shop. all of a sudden he asks me for my ring size and says we should go measure my ring size, so we go and mesaure it. so i obviously start thinking this is it and despite trying to hard to Not get my hopes up I of course still do…
until a few days ago. he has now recently bought something else (i know what it is so it’s not that he’s lying and has secretly bought the ring) which costs even more than the ring we picked out together and i can’t see how he is possibly going to afford an engagement ring now. I feel heartbroken that after all of those signs he goes and buys himself something like that. he keeps saying that marriage and kids are closer than i think but i don’t feel like i believe him after this. all the signs pointed to him proposing – being so affectionate lately, talkign about the future, the ring stuff – but after he bought something so expensive i can’t see how that’s going to happen now.. 🙁
anyone been in the same situation, or has any advice to offer?
Post # 3
Sometimes I read the waiting posts and I feel sad for the girl posting. I have a different feeling about this though. I wouldn’t worry too much about this one, maybe he had more money saved than you thought. I think that even if he doesn’t propose this weekend, it’s obvious he’s starting to really think about it. My Fiance told me that he didn’t want to take me ring shopping until he had made the decision that he wanted to marry me. He says by the time he took me ring shopping it was a done deal in his mind. Unless your guy is the type to play mind games I wouldn’t worry about it, doll 🙂
Post # 4
I agree with swanks4tw.
Are you guys pretty open about your finances or are you assuming he couldnt possibly afford the ring just because the other purchase was an expensive one? Because if you don’t know the details of his finances there is still a really good chance that he still has every intention of purchasing a ring or already has the money put aside for it. My guy and I are pretty intense when it comes to saving and budgeting and I have an idea of what’s in his account from week to week. It’s just something we discuss a lot.
If you guys do talk about what’s in the pocket book quite frequently I can see how this would be very confusing and upsetting. But, on the plus side, at least he’s initiating conversation and actively getting your ring info. This is a huge step for a lot of guys.
Give it some time. I’m sure he has a plan in mind. P.S. Welcome! 🙂
Post # 5
yes we are very open about our finances and budget on a regular basis, but i wouldn’t know the exact amount in his bank account week to week, i’d know more on a general level month to month type of thing. i also know he hasn’t had a chance to save any money this summer. so it’s a combination of knowing our bills, plus this big purchase, that makes me think it’s not gonna happen and it’s made me confused and upset over the entire thing.
maybe you are right that he has a plan in mind.. i’m going to try and look at the positives like you say and give it some time and see what happens. sometimes it just really helps hearing someone else’s opinion of the situation as it’s quite easy to go a bit “blind” and analyze too much and today is just one of those hard days where you think it’s never gonna happen for me. thanks guys! 🙂
Post # 6
hmmm. I’d say don’t give up just yet. Hopefully all of those signs mean that he’s going to propose soon even if he did just buy something expensive…
But if some time goes by without progress maybe you could talk to him? Let him know that while all the talk about the future is nice, it’s a little hurtful when nothing comes of it.
Guys can be clueless sometimes.
Post # 7
My gosh, I could have written this post?
My ring is being paid for.. I know that.
SO sold his bike and raised lots of money for it. There is me thinking my ring would be paid for sooner than I think!
Alas no, he’s just bought an even more expensive bike! (and yes we share finances so I would know if he had a secret stash of cash!)
No advice, more like “I know exactly how you feel” scenario.
Best waiting wishes! x
Post # 8
it sounds like he has a plan.
and maybe because you went ring shopping time is moving super slow…at least that is how I feel. I know my bf is also paying for the ring or is done and is waiting to propose. But I feel like it’s taking longer than I though to get engaged, I’m just anxious 🙂
Post # 9
Another thought: Is there a chance he decided to finance the ring? Because, if that were the case, he could still afford to get his toy AND buy a ring without draining his account. And I’m sure I’m reading into it too much, but whenever I get someone something expensive I almost immediately go out and buy myself something as well. Not sure why. Just happens. But if he found out that he could get something with a super reasonable payment plan do you think he would have jumped on it?
If anything, I’d relish all the affection if I were you. How often are guys super lovey? 🙂 My guy has been attentive and sensitive and very loving lately. Based on our recent talks I’m sure something is coming soon. But I’m loving this guy that took over my SO’s old body so much that the ring can wait a little bit, this is too awesome. Take advantage lady! 🙂
Post # 10
it’s nice to know i’m not alone x
yes there’s a chance he has chosen to finance the ring as it had that option. i have no idea if he’s chosen to do that and is paying it off, or has somehow already bought/planning to buy it. i’m completely clueless to be honest..and really trying to not get my hopes up again and guess what/if he’s planning..
i’m trying to do exactly that – enjoy the fact that he’s being so affectionate and talking about our future and give it some more time. but man is the waiting hard! I’m SOOO ready just pop the question you slow wonderful man arrgghh! 🙂