Post # 1
I would appreciate any insight and tips.
FI and I are having an interfaith ceremony officiated by a Jewish Cantor. We’re having a chuppah, ketubah, unity candle, secular readings, wine blessing & breaking the wineglass (sorry, for the life of me I can’t remember what it’s actually called!).
FI is Jewish, but non-practicing, and hasn’t been very helpful with the Jewish details that we might be forgetting. We’re comfortable with the order of ceremony, so I don’t need any suggestions about what to incorporate there, but I need help with the tangible details.
For example, do we need yarmulkes for the guests during the ceremony? Are there things we should consider doing during the reception outside of the hora? We only have about 30 days to go, and I don’t want to be running around the week of the wedding trying to arrange these things that FI has never considered. Or should I just be following his lead and not worry about it?
Post # 3
If he’s not worried about things, I wouldn’t worry yourself. We had a simialr wedding (I’m Catholic, DH is non-practicing Jewish) – but our ceremony was secular with minor traditions thrown in. DH was walked in by both parents (Jewish tradition) while my mother was seated last as the guest of honor. I had a Bible reading, DH had a secular one. He wore a yarmulke, as did his father and grandfather, but no other guests, as it was a secular ceremony and not in a synagogue.
We didn’t dance the hora (I didn’t want to, and he didn’t press it).
At the rehearsal dinner, DH’s grandfather gave a traditional blessing, because we didn’t want it done right before dinner while all the speeches were going on.
Post # 4
@abbie017: I’m jealous – I’m terrified of the hora, but FI is set on that happening. I’m convinced that my mermaid-style gown is going to split down the back. And that I’ll die when I fall from the chair.
Post # 5
@erinnicole: Hah, when DH first brought it up, I picked all the guys I wanted holding up my chair – basically, all of the strong ones so I wouldn’t get dropped, and DH vetoed them all, on the grounds of “No one will get me off the ground if you get all of them!” I was terrified I’d have to do this… I was very thankful when DH dropped it.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Fox Hill Inn
@erinnicole: We also had a Christian/Jewish Interfaith wedding. It looks like you have a lot of things covered. It’s really up to you whether you want yarmulkes for your guests. We provided them and let guests decide whether or not they wanted them. We didn’t have any readings, but our ceremony was co-officiated by a pastor and cantor in a church, so both faiths were represented.
Like @abbie017: DH was walked in by both parents and my mom was seated as a guest of honor.
We did the Hora because DH was really set on doing it. He’s non-practicing Jewish, and this was one of the only things he was really set on having. My mom had never heard of such a thing and was kind of shocked, her facial expressions in some photos is funny. I told her about it in advance, but I guess nothing prepares you for seeing it in person if you don’t know what it is. We weren’t dropped and we were fine! (We were actually more concerned about whacking our heads on the ceiling than falling off the chairs…)
In the beginning, we were totally fine…
Then I think the guys got tired and the chairs started tilting slightly (you can see our death grip on the chairs…)
We weren’t in the air for too long… cause you also circle around and stuff. I’d say it was kind of fun.
Post # 7
@mrswhitemtn: Thanks so much for the insight. This is making me realize I need to think about the processional a little bit more. I know FI will walk in with his parents, but my mom wants my dad to walk me down the aisle himself.
And I don’t know why – but I’m really set on having the Bride’s “side” of the aisle be on the left – whereas our cantor has the BMs lining up to the right. I’ll have to make sure she knows what I want.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Fox Hill Inn
@erinnicole: I know what you mean, I hadn’t thought that much about the processional, but when DH said he wanted to be walked down the aisle by both parents I had to ask my mom what she wanted to do. Like you, she wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle himself. She didn’t want to “steal his thunder” since it was something he was looking forward to. I ended up having my brother escort my mom down the aisle.
Definitely have your cantor know what side you want people to line up on – if you have a rehearsal you can hash out any last minute details too.
Post # 9
@erinnicole: I would provide yarmulkes for the guests, esp since some of his side may be more religous than your fiancé and his immediate fam, they would be looking for them. Also, you might consider having a blessing of the challah at the start of the reception. We had DHs grandma do the blessing at ours and then they put the bread on everyone’s table to share. I think other than that and having the interfaith elements of the ceremony ( and the hora of course lol) down you’d be all set! I was terrified I’d fall out of the chair but surprisingly it was fine. You can do it!
Post # 10
@erinnicole: The hora is really easy and super fun. Heres a YouTube video.
Also when you go up in the chair, the bride will have all of the strongest guys on her. You could fall but you will never hit the floor. Its really the groom that should be worried.