Post # 1
This is my first post here. I really need some advice. I am getting married in January. I asked my future sister in law who I used to have a close relationship with to be one of my bridesmaid she seemed very happy about it at the time but that has all changed now.
My wedding is a very small destination wedding in Mexico. I want to get her bridesmaid dress because Im worried the dress shops will be getting rid of their summer dresses sooner then later. I have tried multiple times to get her to come try on dresses and she flat out ignores me.
She finally admitted she couldnt afford a dress but I told her multiple times as well that because the girls are paying to come to the wedding I want to buy their dresses but she still ignores me.
I dont know if she wants anything to do with the wedding now, I feel like she hates me. I know she is upset because she is engaged but her and her future husband are not in the spot to get married at all they have only know each other a year and live in his parents basement. My future husband and I have been together 6 years and own a house together and have saved long and hard to pay for out wedding but she keeps judging the situation like they are the exact same.
Anyways thats my rant any advice on how to deal with this situation without stepping on anyones toes or causing fights with the family Im marrying into would be much apperciated.
Post # 3
What does your fiance say about it? It’s his sister correct? I would say clear what you say with him before you make any moves.
However, I would say because these are things that you have to get nailed down you need to address the situation ASAP.
I would say something along the lines of ‘Hey! We haven’t had much time to talk in a while. How are you? Maybe we could have lunch/drinks/dinner and catch up.”
Maybe she’s feeling some neglect or something that is causing her to be withdrawn. If at that point she’s still ignoring you I would talk to her about whether or not she still wants to be a part of your special day. In the end it doesn’t matter if her wedding isn’t working out the way it should. This is your wedding and it’s special to you. However, if she does say she’d like to talk I would take the time to find out what’s wrong then at the end of the night bring up your wedding and getting her a dress.
If you’re close with your FMIL I would also get advice from her. Ask her about her daughter, if she’s doing ok, that she seemed distant, etc. Whatever you do, don’t put her down, just be nice and try to be encouraging.
And if none of those things work maybe you should just be blunt. Tell her you aren’t sure why she’s upset and that you want her to be part of your day but if she’s going to continue ignoring you perhaps it would be best if she come as a guest instead.
Post # 4
If she can’t afford a dress, is it possible she can’t afford to go to the wedding?
I suggest your FI talk with her. She is his sister.
Post # 5
@julies1949: my thoughts exactly…
Post # 6
@jo_5537: Thanks so much for the advice I will give it a shot talking to her and then go from there. I didnt think about going to the MIL but its a great idea. Thanks again
Post # 7
@julies1949: Thanks your most likely right. I will talk to him it is his sister your right.