Post # 1
Hello, hive! I normally don’t post much, but I do, however read WB religiously every day and I am so happy to feel like I can ask you girls for some advice.
I am having a bridesmaid dilemma. Our wedding is in a little over 5 months. Right now, I have 5 bridesmaids, 3 of whom are my sisters. I previously had 7 bridesmaids, but had falling out with two friends in recent months and it has not been pretty.
In comes the issue: I have been becoming closer and closer with a friend who I’ve known for years. We became friends in 5th grade, were super close in middle school, had separate “groups” of friends through high school but always remained friends, and now, we have been spending more time together. We confide in each other about everything and she has literally been the only one who I can talk to about certain things regarding my relationship with other friends, my fiance, and even my family. She is always there to help me and be involved in my life, even when other “friends” seem to get upset with me when I can’t spend lots of time with them due to my classes and wedding planning and work. She doesn’t judge or get angry with me over petty issues.
She knows who is in my wedding party, but hive, I really think that I would love her to stand by me on my wedding day. When I asked my fiance who he thought my closest friends were, she said her name and the name of another bridesmaid, whom I love dearly as well. In the recent months, since wedding planning became my priority and I’ve been dealing with trying issues, she has been there and I hate talking wedding with her because I feel as if she should be in my bridal party. What do you think I should do? I don’t want her to feel as if she is the “fill in” for my other two maids who I no longer speak to, and I want her to know that this is because she is my true, honest, closest friend.
Any advice would be much appreciated. Sorry so long!!!
Post # 3
I think you should ask her. It sounds like you have quite the history together, and true friendships are ones that can always pick up where they left off even years later.
I’m having the same feelings toward a friend of mine who I “didn’t” ask, and I have that same guilt feeling in the pit of my stomach because I can see in her eyes that she so badly wants to be a part of it. Her and I have only been friends a couple of years but she would give me the shirt off her back anytime.
Also, is she’s a true friend she won’t feel like a “fill-in” at all and will be honored and ecstatic at your asking. Good luck!
Post # 4
I think you should ask her as well.
I had a smiliar situation where I asked a bridesmaid to step down and asked another close friend to be a bridesmaid. I’m so glad I made that decision and I made sure to make her included. I also had a chat with her to make sure she didn’t feel as though I asked her to be a bridesmaid to keep the numbers even.
Post # 5
I think you should tell her!
Just explain to her what you explained to us and I think she will understand. My best friend got married a few months ago, but we hadn’t met when she first got engaged, so I wasn’t in her wedding. She had a bridesmaid she thought was not going to be able to make it and asked if that was the case, if I would want to be in the wedding. (Everything with the original Bridesmaid or Best Man worked out, so I ended up being involved as an usher) I never thought I was replacing, it just happened that we were closer later in her planning.
Post # 6
Thanks, girls! I think I am going to do it. But here’s another question: how do you think I should tell my other bridesmaids? Just say “hey, I have another one joining”? I don’t want them to think I feel less of them that I put someone else in my wedding. Ughhh- just trying to please everyone, of course.
Post # 7
@AimRy12: Actually, I was added into one of my friend’s parties about 6 months after decisions were made because of a similar situation- we have grown very close and I now consider her a best friends (she is also in my wedding). I don’t know how she told the other girls, but I thnk you can just explain to them that you guys have grown close and you want the people you care about standing up there with you. Her other Bridesmaid or Best Man were super welcoming and friendly to me even though I wasn’t there at first. Good luck!