(Closed) HELP ME!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee

Im sorry you are going through this.  I think the best way would be NOT to send any pics or talk about what you are doing, and ask that she do the same.  That way no one can say one of you copied each other and such.  While your bridesmaids dresses may be the same cut and length, Im sure since they are different colors once your girls are in them, with hair, makeup, jewelry and shoes they wont look the same at all!  And sorry to sound snooty but YOU are getting married before her, it would look like she is copying you since she is getting married after.

Id also talk to your fiance if you dont feel comfortable talking to his mom or sister and ask him to be the buffer and tell them not to send pictures or anything.  Good luck (and welcome to Weddingbee!)

Post # 4
Member
1816 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Wow, this sounds a little complicated.  I would not start sending your FSIL pictures of your wedding choices, and I would politely ask your FMIL to stop sending you pictures of hers (if you can do this without starting an argument).  Similarities in your wedding planning are bound to happen since you said you two are similar and I assume share similar tastes.  I would just let the planning go where it may.  No one is going to say you are copying her or vice versa, and if they do I would reevaluate your relationship with those people.  Wedding planning should not be a competition.  You both deserve your day the way that you want it, and you should not restrict your decisions based on what one another may or may not have chosen.  Good luck!  Don’t let this ruin your relationship with your future in laws.

Post # 5
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree that you should have your fiance act as a buffer between you and don’t engage in any back and forth with his sister or mother.  Weddings are not about competition and if you get started with them, that is what it will become.

Welcome to weddingbee by the way!

Post # 6
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

i think you should get out of this situation but not responding to these silly 5th grade games. seriously…how old is this girl? this is just so immature..i mean it is your weddings! ugh! people really need to start remembering why they are getting married and what the day is about instead of who’s wedding is better. sounds like you are the bigger one here…so please dont ag her on. ignore her and plan your wedding and enjoy YOUR day 😀

good luck and congrats 😀

Post # 7
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you should explain to her that you are making your decisions independent of hers, so if there is any overlap, you don’t intend it to happen, but you also aren’t going to CHANGE anything just because she may have chosen something similar.  Let her know that you appreciate her sending you her ideas, but in the end you are going to plan a wedding that suits YOUR style, and it doesn’t matter to you if it has any similarities to her wedding.  Also, your weddings are almost a YEAR away.  You’re already picking BM dresses??  It’s honestly a little early to be doing much planning beyond picking a date and maybe finding a venue!

Your best bet is NOT to share any information (which will be hard with your FMIL fueling the feud!!).  Explain to your FI that it is making you INCREDIBLY uncomfortable and have him as his mom to STOP IT.  You have a right to plan your wedding too, free from outside influence.  Just make your own decisions, and share nothing with anyong (including FMIL) until after it has all been done.  You may find after a while that she will try to copy you, but no matter what you do, you just can’t copy a wedding.  It will always be unique!

The topic ‘HELP ME!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors