- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
I wrote this post a couple months ago and the problem still hasn’t been solved.
After weeks of inaction on this front, DH kind of took charge and decided to really push for one of his favored names, his own middle name, saying “it just feels right.” That’s pretty hard to argue with, especially since I don’t have any alternatives to suggest because I don’t like any boy names. I don’t like the name he chose because it’s unusual and alliterative with our last name. I don’t like the idea of giving my kid an unusual name because unusual names seem attention-seeking to me, in a bad way. I understand the idea of not wanting your kid to be the 79th Jennifer in her class, but picking a rare name for the sake of its rarity, or deliberately seeking out names that are unusual, seems to me like saying “look at me! I’m so creative and quirky and unique!” in an obnoxious way. It’s just not my style. I prefer to fit in rather than stand out, in general. In the past thread I talked also about how the more unusual the name is, the more backstory or explanation or justification it seems to need.
As a compromise, DH wants me to pick the middle name. I would prefer the name he chose as a middle name, because I think more unusual names work better in that spot, but he insists, and I don’t have any other names to suggest. The only male name I can think of that I have any emotional connection with at all is my father’s name. My own middle name is also the female form of that. So I kind of like the concept of this naming process–my son named after both his dad and his grandpa, and putting together my and DH’s middle names in our son’s. But that’s about all I like about it. (I don’t think my dad’s name would go well as a first name anyway because it has a common one-syllable nickname that would sound particularly bad with our last name.)
I had a girl name picked out that I really liked, but I feel like I have to give that name up forever now because I was going to use the female form of my dad’s name as a middle name for the hypothetical daughter. I was going to put my mom’s name together with my dad’s and I liked the idea of their two names being ‘married’ in my daughter’s name. But I think it’s dumb for two siblings to have the same middle name, in male and female form. My second choice here is using my mom’s name together with my grandmother’s name (her mother). As long as my sister doesn’t poach my grandma’s name when she has a baby 3 months after me. She finds out the sex next week.
So I need help resigning myself to:
1. the concept of an unusual name in general
2. an alliterative name
3. giving up the idea of naming a girl baby after my dad someday, and putting his name together with my mom’s in that girl baby’s name.
4. not being excited about my kid’s name, and not even really liking the name much.