(Closed) help me be ok with a baby name I don't like

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
382 posts
Helper bee

Well, I’m not pregnant or even married but I do know where you’re coming from.  SO and I joke about baby names and we have very different tastes.  In fact he hates all my favorite names.  I think at the end of the day you will love your kid and grow to love the name.  I don’t think alliterative names are necessarily bad, and if you find the RIGHT unusual name, you could really like it.  Trust me, there are so many out there to choose from.

Post # 4
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@marjojo:  I think you guys need to keep working on this. A baby name is important and you need to both be ok with it. My SO and I have agreed that he picks our first boys first name, me middle and I pick the girls first name, him the middle. That is ok for us but you have to find something you are ok with.

Dont be bullied into a decision you aren’t comfortable with. perhaps have a family naming party where everyone emails you ideas and you set up a bracket, march madness style. last name standing wins!

Post # 5
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@marjojo:  Just wondering, is there a short version of the name that your child can go by? I would say compromise on you being allowed to name the child if it is a girl. If you dont have any emotional connection with any boys names and he is loving this one, i would think you will need to get used to it. Are there any alternatives to the name that would work better? Try Nymbler,com

 

Edit: I just read your other thread. I think you are being too picky about the name. Since you havent given us the name we cant give you alternatives but i have a feeling no matter what name your husband likes you will probably have an issue with it. 

Post # 6
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t think we can help you. You are the one who needs to find a name that you can live with. You are going to get lots of suggestions and you probably won’t like any of them. You need to dig deep and find something you like so you don’t have to settle. I would even suggest you stop looking at wait until your baby boy is born so you can name him when you meet him. Hopefully a name will just come to you and be perfect. 

Post # 7
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

What’s the name?  You don’t have to tell us your last name, which will protect the kid’s identity.

Post # 8
Member
4574 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would try to be a little more open minded with boy names and try to find something that agrees with you, so you can give DH an alternative, ya know!…..Im not pregnant yet, but DH and I have discussed names already, and I know what you mean, it’s hard to be in agreement.  GL and I hope you find a name soon!

Post # 9
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you should keep  looking. I know what it’s like to have a name that makes you wince each time you hear it, and I imagine your child having a name like that probably wouldn’t be too much different.

Post # 10
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I, like you, don’t really care for “unusual” names.  I like the “trendy” and popular names because they are safe…yes there might be another kid named that, but who cares? At least you won’t get talked about behind your back by people because of such an odd name (I am so guilty of doing this about my brother’s son’s name..it’s so weird and I think they literally made it up..). Plus, the kid has a way less chance of being made fun of if you pick a general name rather than one that is super “unique.” But to each their own! 🙂

That being said….I really don’t think you should just settle for a name you don’t like, even if it has some sort of meaning to your DH.  I guess you could jump out and say you would get used to it eventually, but why take that chance and have your child start off with a name that you don’t care for? 

My DH and I agreed that we BOTH have to agree on a name, if one person doesn’t like it, it’s automatically off the table.  We are going to use our middle names as first child’s middle name, too, so maybe you could suggest that to your DH…instead of using the middle name as a first name, just use the middle name AS the middle name.  

As far as not liking any other boy names, I still don’t think that’s a good enough excuse to settle on one you blatantly don’t like.  DH didn’t like ANY of the boy names I kept suggesting, so I just kept looking and looking and throwing names out there and eventually we agreed on one that I never thought of in the first place (Brycen, Bryce for short).  

Do you not know the sex of your baby yet or are you team green or what? If you aren’t even to 20 weeks yet, you still have PLENTY of time to pick a name.  We aren’t even dead set on our choices of names and agreed that we will go to the hospital with a few that we like and pick one there.  

Hang in there, it is tough picking a name that will be stuck with your child for the rest of their life!  But I truly believe if you keep looking, you will come across one that BOTH of you love instead of just letting your DH pick the name and you hating it.  

ETA: Ooops, just read your other thread and saw you are due in May and know you are having a boy.  So a little more crunched on time for finding a name, but seriously, I wouldn’t settle for one that you don’t like.  Keep looking.  Have you tried baby name books?  I looked through one and said each name that I thought might be OK out loud to see if I liked it.  Some of the names I thought I originally liked I hated when I said them out loud with the middle name and our last name.  You should also practice yelling them I’ve heard 😉

Post # 11
Member
866 posts
Busy bee

I am a little surprised about the negativity surrounding unusual names. People giving unusual names aren’t attention seeking, they just don’t want to be the same as every other person. I have a very unusual name and I love it, I would hate to be named some generic name that everyone has!

Post # 13
Member
441 posts
Helper bee

but picking a rare name for the sake of its rarity, or deliberately seeking out names that are unusual, seems to me like saying “look at me! I’m so creative and quirky and unique!” in an obnoxious way

But this isn’t what your husband is doing. He chose his middle name, not the name of his favorite fruit and that punk band he liked in high school. 

I would also use your dad’s name as the middle name. You never know if you’re going to have a girl in the future, so use a name that’s special for you now when you have the chance.

ETA: hmm, just saw the name is Cogan. That is pretty different, and I can see why you might have an issue with it. I think you should keep looking, but I also think you need to relax your name standards a bit. 

Post # 14
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@marjojo:  I think you should accept it because of the reasons your husband has for liking that particular name.  Paired with a middle name that also has sentimental value is excellent.  Then you can call your son…”Bucket” or “Pumpkin” or “Shoeface” or whatever you want.

Post # 15
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@marjojo:  How about Emiterio? (Said Em-it-ter-rio) It’s the boy name we would use for our would-be son

 

That aside, do you thinik here is a reason you “hate” all boy names? Were you hoping for a girl and perhaps mourning the loss of that dream? Have you always been that picky when it comes to names?I feel like something else might be going on with you.::hug::

 

If it helps, I hated my son’s name too. My and my ex-husband couldn’t decide on names. He wanted to name him after his brother (Chris) and I wanted to name him Daniel. We went through a baby book and spent HOURS arguing over names. Alex was the only name we both could stand. So we picked that one.

 

He’s going to be 6 now, and the name just fits him. When he was born I would think that he looks JUST like a Daniel and how his name didn’t fit him. It totally does now- and I think that it was ment to be.

 

 

Post # 16
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@marjojo:   I don’t think that unusual names by nature are attention seeking. Sometimes you just like a name. And unusual is relative. Something unusual to one person can be quite common to the next.  I have a ‘typical’ Hawaiian name that is ‘unusual’ to everyone outside of Hawaii, but my mother was raised in Hawaii and it works.   As for your father’s name, will you be upset if you never do have a future baby girl and therefore can’t pass along the name?  It seems that you do like your father’s name and their significance and that it might work.  All that said, it sounds like you will be unhappy going along with the name your husband wants, so it seems that you should continue to think of other possibilities.  Good luck . 

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