help me calm my nerves!

posted 3 years ago in June 2014
Post # 2
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m also worried about that! Along with all the last minute things as well. And stupid me checked the 10 day forcast today to see 80% t-storms. Just gotta tell myself it’s a week away and there’s nothing I can do about it! 

Post # 3
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Seashells7:  I had the same exact feelings leading up to our wedding day.  I wish I had some magical advice that would take it away, but I do not 🙁  I had a ton of anxiety, especially the week of regarding being ‘center stage’, and feeling good/pretty.  I barely slept.  I felt like a zombie.  I was emotional – for the better, and really excited.  My body was in overdrive.  

At that point I could care less about what was done, or not!  In short, it sucked.  It continued until the moment I saw my soon-to-be husband for the first time, as I took my walk down the aisle.  All of a sudden every ‘insecurity’ or anxious feeling I had disappeared.  In that moment, it was about he and I, not about me and how I look.  I know my smile radiated the crowd.  I know I was the happiest I have ever been.  I stopped ‘caring’.  From that point on the entire day was a whirlwind/out of body experience, but perfect in every way (even when it did rain!!).

People told me all those feelings would go away at that moment, and I did not believe them.  I thought I would be the gal with the awkward, “I am uncomfortable” smile on my face, anxious all day.  I was wrong!!  I think if you can remind yourself of these things, and believe it will be the same for you, then your anxiety might take a back seat.  

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  OUgal0004.
Post # 4
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Seashells7:  Similar thoughts but also amazed at how much I have left to do! I didn’t think I would have this much left so close and I’m really regretting deciding to go to school for an extra summer term. Definitely over ambitious!

I can’t believe the wedding is next Saturday. I’m worried that after I finish all the little things I have left that I will start focusing on my own personal anxiety and it will ruin it for me. I’m hoping for some sort of transcendent calm…

Post # 6
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Seashells7:  That is exactly what I said to everyone too.  Get past the ceremony, so we can unwind (drink), and have fun!!  Second piece of advice…and this is so hard to DO, but now easy to SAY…try to enjoy every single moment.  Do not wish it any of it away.  I PROMISE!!

Our ceremony was my favorite part, looking back.  It was planned around what we wanted, and it flew by.  We had so many compliments on the Mass, and I really cannot remember what the officiant said, or how the musicians truly sounded.  Don’t get me wrong…the minute we loaded the limo for pictures with our bridal party, we had an absolute blast, and we did get to unwind, but man…as I type this today, and I am ‘mad’ at myself at worrying so much about being the ‘main event’ that I feel I lost ‘out’ on some key moments of my life that will never happen again.  Walking down the aisle, etc.  

If married-me met week-of-our-wedding me then, I would have shaken the crap outta her, and said no matter what – even if you trip and fall, or even if your make-up was not perfect, you would still have the greatest day of your life!!  I truly believe I would have!!!!  (Case and point:  When it started raining, my photog asked if I wanted to seek shelter.  We did not.  We wanted those pictures together, happy.  My dress got dirty, some of my curl fell, my veil was blown off my head…it was awesome, lol!)

TRY to stay calm, and ENJOY THIS!

Post # 7
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Seashells7: I am full of these fears as well! I am really nervous about my hair and makeup, since due to logistics I will not get a hair/makeup trial until the day before the wedding! I have no idea how the veil will be on my head, and every time I have tried it on trying to do my own hair, I don’t like the way it looks. I have never liked when anyone else has done my makeup before (too much). I have asked my MUA for a very natural look but again, I haven’t seen this done or photographed. *nerves* I want to look like the best version of my normal self for my FI. I wish I could do my makeup myself, but I don’t know enough to make it last all day and photograph well. Sigh. I feel good about the other parts of wedding planning that I have control over, but this… I don’t know how I could control it!

OUgal0004:  Thank you for these encouraging words!

Post # 8
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Seashells7:  “my anxiety came as soon as I stopped being busy with everything and I had a chance to stop and think about how I felt about being a bride next week” ugh yes that’s how i feel!!! i’m at the point where i’ve gotten pretty much everything done- still need to do ribbons on the bubbles, find jewelry for my bridesmaids, and receive programs/escort cards, but even if NONE of these things happened it wouldn’t be the end of the world, so now i’m on to stressing about actually being a BRIDE. it’ll only happen once (hopefully!) and it’s about to happen and i just hope that i look as good as everyone expects me to look. :/  i feel like every time i start to see a pimple, it just freaks me out because i feel like i have to be PERFECT that day.

Post # 9
Member
284 posts
Helper bee

I’m a June 22nd bride, and oh my gosh just this weekend it hit me that we have 3 weeks to pull this off. FI got back late on Friday night from a work trip and I just sat on the couch with him and we freaked out together. There is so much to do, and I’m just not a very good wedding planner and really don’t enjoy a lot of the wedding traditions/stuff that comes with planning a wedding (no offense meant to those that do, I’m just an incredibly private person and not much of a big party/center of attention type)

In retrospect, I wish that maybe we had kept with our original idea and gone out of town with our immediate families, but at the same time I’m really happy with what we have because it showcases some of the things that FI and I love very much. It’s also an opportunity for my only surviving grandparent to see all of her grandchildren and great grandchild, and since FI doesn’t have any grandparents it’s just a huge honour to have her, at 90 years old I know she couldn’t have handled a flight to some island for a destination wedding.

I’m super frustrated though because we asked an old family friend to officiate and he hasn’t kept up his license so our venue coordinator/owner (who thankfully has a license!) is going to allow him to perform the ceremony with her in the room, so he can marry us. However, he has 1 weekend he’s not busy where we can go and meet up with him to discuss the ceremony (he’s 3 hours away) and it’s the Sunday before our wedding. 7 days before. And the venue desperately wants a copy of my ceremony and I don’t know how to tell them that I’m writing it the week before with my officiant. This is both funny and panicked.

FI and I also don’t live together, and I had thought I might move in a couple of months ago, but we decided that we had been living apart for almost 4 years and that we could manage to wait until the wedding and be all cute and traditional (honestly it’s mostly to keep my family who are very conservative happy, and because he’s traveling a lot and so it’s not like I’d see him more anyway)

So yeah. There is just so much to do, so many things that aren’t what I’m good at and aren’t what I enjoy, and to top it all off there are so many comments being thrown around about this being a shotgun wedding because we got engaged and married in just over 6 months, and now I’m being scrutinized by everybody for whether or not I’m pregnant and people are joking about how I better get pregnant and I just feel so so so awkward. I just don’t enjoy planning and was more excited to be married to my FI than I was to plan our wedding so I figured we’d just make it short and sweet, plus our dream venue only had that available. 🙁

On the plus side, after this long/nervous rant, my dress is a fit and flair that’s taken in to show off my naturally tiny waist and I’m sure that will put the rumours to rest.

Post # 10
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have decided this wedding is going to give me a heart attack. I don’t really worry about how I will look, but I worry about everything else –and I believe with cause.

Our gorgeous historic building just went under construction/renovation with no warning. At first they told me they would have it all cleaned up (blah blah) and it really shouldn’t affect our June 28th wedding. They invited me to look at another wedding’s set up just last Friday to allay my fears. I went. It was a disaster. I spent the morning on the phone with the county commissioner’s office going over every detail of the construction. Agh, not a lot of help.

There will be construction workers there while we are trying to set up on Thursday and Friday and I just have to hope nothing will be ruined. I will be a basket case those few days before with worry and construction headache. Not exactly what I had planned.

I’m actually thinking of calling our local newspaper to do a story on it since it involves politics, weddings, and money.

 

And of course, the 100+ little details that need to get completed are just an added bonus 🙂

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