Post # 1
My non-computer savvy friend is holding a 32 guest wedding next year. Immediate family and 8 very close friends (4 each for bride and groom). She asks:
1. How many bridesmaids if any are appropriate? Groom has handed over the decision to bride, he is not fussed if there are none or five, or if uneven numbers in the bridal party, or if bridal party are standing or seated during ceremony.
2. Who would you choose from the following list?
– Brides first and longest friend (known since birth, born 1 month apart), very close
– Brides high school friend for 15 years, bride was one of two bridesmaids in her wedding 3 years ago, very close
– Brides university friend for 10 years, bride was one of six bridesmaids in her wedding 2 years ago, close
– Brides most trusted friend for 5 years, very close
– Brides sister, somewhat close hot and cold relationship
All live interstate to the bride
Post # 2
Of course all of this is up to her but here are my thoughts: since she’s having a small wedding a smaller bridal party with just one or two people on each side makes sense to me (if she has a Bridal Party at all).
As far as choosing bridesmaids, I’d pick the closest/most supportive/more reliable people out of the group. So, probably the friend from birth and either another friend or the sister. Will sister be upset if she isn’t chosen? That may factor in as well if the bride cares.
She could also skip the bridal party all together and incorporate close friends/family into the ceremony in other ways like having them do readings. Totally up to her and the groom.
Post # 3
We had 42 guests and we only had a Maid/Matron of Honor (FSIL) and a Flower Girl. I decided on my Future Sister-In-Law over all my friends because we are “family” and I didn’t have sisters of my own to ask. This also made it easier since I could use the sister excuse and not hurt my friends feelings. I had no regrets in my decision. Darling Husband did not ask anyone to stand up with him. Our Maid/Matron of Honor and FH stood up with us at the front. All of our friends were invited as guests. We did have one mutual friend do a reading. Our wedding was only immediate family and close friends.
Is the wedding more informal than formal? Ours was extremely formal so we still had a lot of other elements included that a larger would incorporate – just on a smaller scale.
Post # 4
Thanks for the reply bees! She is now heading towards having her sister as Maid/Matron of Honor, her daughter (bride to be neice) as flower girl and oldest friend as the witness.
Post # 5
librarygirl85: As far as I know the ceremony will be formal, and a nice but informal dinner at an onsite B&B’s restaurant later. She is heading toward Maid/Matron of Honor only
Post # 6
spiffanee: I know the sister well, she wont care if noone is chosen but would be upset if someone else was chosen over her, bride is heading towards Maid/Matron of Honor only and probably the sis
Post # 7
Notcool: I don’t think there are any rules so my advice would be for her to follow her heart! But if she’s interested, these are my thoughts;
With such a small guest list i’d go with one maybe two bridesmaids MAX. (I wouldn’t say none as it’s definitely good to have someone to share it with and to help out!)
It’s easier (and cheaper!) in so many regards to have a small wedding party and I don’t think anyone would be offended if they weren’t made a bridesmaid, particularly in such a small wedding as they will already feel very honoured to just be there as part of her closest circle of friends/family.
In terms of who to choose, it’s hard to say from reading the descirption, but she should choose someone who she has a very easy friendship with. Someone who will enjoy sharing this with her, who will make her feel special, help her, have fun with her and who she can see being a part of her life for many, many years.
I have four bridesmaids (100 guest wedding) which logistically, is a little trickier however the girls I have chosen (all friends, no relatives, and i’ve known them for between 18 – 4 years) are my dearest friends who are the most loving, caring, selfless people and I am very blessed to have them in my life. They have made me feel so special and they are so excited to share this day with me which is exactly what I wanted. I guess it goes both ways because i’ve been a very laid back bride but it’s made the experience so wonderful.
Tell her not to feel obliged to choose anyone in particular. If someone gets annoyed about not being made a bridesmaid, they’re not a good enough friend to be one anyway.
Most of all, tell her to enjoy it! It’s such a special time 🙂
Post # 8
I’m a big believer in “the fewer the better.” More members of the wedding party means more potential for drama and more expense (bouquets, gifts to the bridal party, etc.).