- 2 years ago
I’ve been on the fence for weeks if I should attend a DW or not. I’m hoping that talking it out on the hive will help me make a final decision.
If the wedding was local, this wouldn’t be an issue for me at all. I’d go in a heartbeat.
The issue is related to the expense of flying, renting a car, hotel, etc. DH is not planning to attend, but him attending or not is not really part of the equation.
I’m friends with the groom. It’s a 2nd wedding for both (not that it REALLY matters). It’s supposed to be a wedding of about 200 guests and the grooms side is only about 40-50 guests. I know it would mean a lot to him if I attended (he said as much), since his side of support is so small. We’ve been friends for about 10 years (closeness has ebbed and flowed over the years). Our friendship rekindled about 3 years ago. Prior to that, I got married and he was not invited to my wedding, since we weren’t close then.
Part of what’s fueling my ‘should I go’ questioning is I’m not sure what type of friendship we’ll have post-marriage. I’ve met his soon to be wife, and we get along fine, but I don’t really see them being mutual couple friends. Combine that with the fact they live out of state (about a 3 hour plane ride away) and want to have babies soon after getting married, I don’t really see us being close in the next several years (other than a check in every few months or sending Christmas cards).
All that said – I know it will be a BIG deal to him if I don’t go. Hopefully not a deal-breaking friendship type thing – but it could be that extreme.
I don’t want to go out of guilt or pity… and can see myself being really annoyed to make the effort to go, and then have the friendship fizzle out anyway.
And, logistically (if it matters), I would do a turn around trip. The wedding is from 4-10p on a Saturday (it’s a super casual wedding. Reception is a casual dinner with no dancing and no alcohol). I’d fly up first thing on Sat, rent a car, get a hotel for the night, and fly back the next morning.