Post # 1
Bees, help me decide when to send save the dates for a (secondary) holiday weekend wedding!
– Our wedding is 1/18/15, the day before Martin Luther King Jr. Day.
– It’s on a Sunday.
– Of our guest list, about 20% is local (within an hour’s drive of the venues), 40% is within the state (making a 2-3.5 hour drive), and 40% are without a doubt OOT (drive time travel would be 8-18 hours).
– The wedding is in a metropolitan city (Nashville) but the suburb where the reception is taking place is popular this time of year for national hockey tournaments. (For instance, this year, the tournament weekend is MLK Jr. weekend, but last year it was not.)
– I’ve mentioned the date by word of mouth to immediate family and those in the bridal party. Other than that, we’ve been keeping a pretty tight lid on things.
Right now, I’m leaning towards sending them out in the middle of February, right around the 11 month mark.
What do you think, bees?
Post # 3
Bumping the thread, I added a poll 🙂
Post # 4
@lemiller: I think 9 months out is more than sufficent.
Post # 5
With so many people having to travel go ahead and send them in February as you’d like. BUT make sure that you’re 100% sure on inviting those people because you can’t send a STD and not send them an invite.
Post # 6
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Save The Dates have taken the place of an Enagement Announcement in the local Newspaper’s Social Pages.
The old norm for those were either when the Engagement happened… OR up to a year in advance of the Wedding
So there is no right or wrong
Personally if you are looking at a Holiday Weekend I’d say 9 months to a year in advance would be a good window.
Just make sure you’ve done all your homework in advance (as I’ve seen too many posts where STDs have gone wrong)
You will ONLY want to send out an STD to those people you are SURE you are going to Invite to the Wedding in so much as this paperwork says “Save the Date” (whereas an Old Fashioned Enagement Announcement doesn’t have that obligation)
So make sure you’ve worked out things like…
The Date – Your Budget – Guest List – and Venue in advance of sending anyone an STD.
Makes for less issues down the road (“OMG we sent out STDs to people, and now we cannot afford to invite them… what do we do?”)
Hope this helps,
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
100% of my family is OOT (ranging from two people within a 3 hour drive, and 100 with over a 10+hr drive). Most of my family also struggles financially, so we sent our STDs out 12 months prior to the wedding to make sure they had ample time to set money aside for traveling.
Post # 8
For my MLK 2014 wedding, for which nearly 90% of the guest list is OOT, we sent STDs in April. So far, it seems like we gave enough notice for everyone (invites are going out this week, so I’ll let you how many really are able to make it soon)
I’ll also add that even though our STD had our wedding website info, and a ton of people looked at the website (per the website’s counter) only 18 hotel rooms have been booked yet – immediate family and bridal party. I don’t know that sending out STDs earlier would have more people booking earlier. 🙂
Post # 9
@LMD: Yes! I want to make sure that I provide everyone ample time to prepare. For some, this means making travel arrangements for a family of 8, for others it will mean asking off work as soon as possible, and for others it would give them a few extra months to save some money for traveling expenses…
Post # 10
@StuffWithScout: Please let me know as your RSVPs come in! I’m really curious to see how it turns out, as I imagine our numbers will be fairly similar.
Also, yes, I’ve considered just blocking off hotel rooms a year out and just sending save the dates when I feel like it, haha. I don’t know if people will actually book earlier… but we’ve had some save the date snafus within the family that I want to avoid… like STDs being sent out less than two months before a wedding! Oops.
Post # 11
I said “other” because I preferred to tell people individually, by way of phone call or note. Also because there is no right or wrong time, though over a year is IMO excessive.
Post # 12
@This Time Round:
Oh yes, we’ll be avoiding the STD/invitation debacles that I see on the Bee. Members of my family have had similar issues in the past.. one second cousin decided to let his mother send the STDs to family and she sent out an extra 200 that he wasn’t planning on having. He ended up having to throw a second reception for extended family only, but most of those who received a STD weren’t invited to the wedding. Needless to say, it caused some ruffled feathers.
On the flip side, another chickadee sent out save the dates for a nearly-Christmas wedding less than two months before the big day. It was a surprise to everyone! lol.
Our date, budget, guest list, and venues are in place. Now we just need to decide when to send out the paper 🙂
Post # 13
@weddingmaven: I agree, no sense in sending save the dates out more than a year in advance.
As for making phone calls to announce the date, I wish that worked for my family. Many family members have shoddy telephone reception, hearing, or both. Important materials have been notoriously miscommunicated because of the game of telephone. I feel safer sending a written announcement.