- 7 years ago
Whenever DH and I talk about how to work out finances, we always come to a ‘blank stare’ point in the conversation where no decisions are made.
I need help and advice!
Here’s how we currently do it. We both kept our invidivual accounts and added each other on as signers.
He likes his bank and I like my credit union. Neither of us are willing to move over accounts to the other branch and close their own.
As I type, I’m realizing the perfect compromise may be opening up a completely neutral account and closing the existing two – but, I don’t really like that idea, since I’m the one who primarily manages everything and I really like the services my credit union has to offer.
Some background: DH had a lot of credit card debt coming into the marriage. I knew that and we’ve been aggressively trying to pay down the debt. We are within two months or so of doing this. So, home stretch, for sure.
MY BIGGEST FRUSTRATION: discretionary spending. It drives me crazy that I feel like I am saving every single penny, not going shoe or clothes shopping, and then see some random $100 purchase for DH’s hobby (like today!!)
So – my solution is that we accrue discretionary spending amounts every month. If we spend it – then great. If we don’t – it’s ours to roll over.
My problem is I don’t know how to start this up or how much to put in that fund or how to divvy it up.
Here’s how we handle things right now.
My pay checks go into my checking account. His pay checks go into his.
I pay for everything on a credit card and pay that credit card off every month. DH uses cash or his debit card. I pay most of the house expenses through my checking account (he pays for his cell phone, the cable bill, dry cleaning, car expenses). He will usually write me a check out of his account and deposit it in mine. This amount varies – and there could be a month where he doesn’t do it (like this month!). We both do grocery shopping and he usually pays when we go out.
In an ideal world – I’d like all paychecks to go into one account.
Just writing this out is making me want to propose that we do this (deposit all into one account) and then we both take ‘x money out as ‘fun money’. However, I know DH will want to use his bank card to do grocery shopping or do any other type shopping. Ideally, I don’t want DH using a debit card for things, because I don’t think it’s a very secure way of paying for things.
Can I add DH to my credit card, now that we are married? I guess that would help join the expense part of the finances. But, that would also mean, I’d have to start using cash for my discretionary stuff – and I hate using cash.
See why we always end in a no-decision place? Neither of us is willing to compromise. But, I’m over it and we need a plan.
So – hive, ANY ideas on how to approach this?