Post # 1
I met my soon to be fiance at college in Chicago. I live in Indianapolis and my family will be paying for and helping plan for our wedding, so I thought Indianapolis would be a good place to pick a wedding venue.
However, he has a larger family than I do. I don’t want them to all have to travel that far and Chicago is a special place for us, but if my family is going to be involved, they would like to be able to see venues with me, help with decor, etc. and I feel it would be advantageous for planning purposes to have the venue close to them.
We plan to move to Indianapolis after the wedding, so does that have any bearing on where we wed?
Post # 3
Ultimately this is you and your FI’s wedding, so have it where you both want to have it. No matter what it seems like some people will have to travel…
It shouldn’t matter what other people think of the venue (yes its nice to have help deciding, but sometimes it is worse to have to many opinions). Its should be whatever you and your FI want.
have YOUR dream wedding…… not your family’s dream wedding….
Hope that helps…
Post # 4
What about somewhere in the middle? I think it’s about a 5 hour drive from Chi town to Indy..Consider somewhere in between so folks each go a couple hours. I know that may sound crazy but it would be a compromise.
If that won’t work, pick the place where you and your FI have the most friends/memories. People you love will come.
Post # 5
Well honestly I want a small, family wedding. Unfortunately, my guy has a very large traditional Italian family. So I think that it would be more considerate to wed in Chicago for his family, but I would rather wed in Indy.
Post # 6
Hi! I agree with kazoochair. I think it would be a great compromise to try and pick a place in the middle. In fact, my cousin just got married and his new wife’s family lives out of town while our side of the family is from the South Side of Chicago (or southern suburbs). They wed in Itasca so that it would be easier for her family to attend while not making it terribly inconvenient for his family. It worked out great and they were both happy that their respective families could attend without difficulty. Ultimately, however the decision is up to you two.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Do what’s most convenient for yourself. Everyone else will make it work. 🙂
Post # 8
Have you talked to your parents about it? Maybe they aren’t opposed to having you getting married in Chicago and things would work out. But if you want to get married in Indy then you should talk to your fiance about it and see what he says. Good luck.
Post # 9
How many people in your family? How many in his? Where do your friends live? Will your parents be willing to have it in Chicago? (I know they want to see the venues, but does that mean definitively that they want it in IN?) You could line up some vendors, and have them drive in for a couple of days to meet them.
Ultimately, if they are paying, and have certain demands, you need to be prepared that you might have to it in IN. (It’s fine and good o say it’s your wedding, but if they’re paying….) And if you are looking for a smaller wedding perhaps that would work in your favor, because some of FI’s family might not come. (I know large Italian families. He’s probably not close to all of his cousins….) I could see having the reception someplace in the middle, if the distance was a bit closer. But to have everyone drive 2 1/2 hours to get to the wedding kind of sucks. Either everyone will have to spend the night, or your guests will go home early or get there late, or both. Also what’s half way between Chi, and Indy, to hold your reception?
Post # 10
Honestly I have thought of getting married near the college we met at but it’s going to be 2 hours for his family and 3 for mine…so it still seems like a hassel. I agree with what Tanya says… why inconvenience everyone?
He has a HUGE family and they all live in the Chicago area. They are close knit and all live in the same housing addition. They are already upset that we will not be living there with them.
However, his dad died of cancer not too long ago and his family has no money to help out with the wedding, so I feel like I am going to have to make my family happy with the location of the wedding.
Post # 11
That sounds like a pickle! Me and the FI (and his family) live in NC, but my family and friends are in MN, and we are planning to eventually live in MN…. so we decided to get married in MN, however we DID consider having a destination wedding for a few months…. We also have thought about having a 2nd reception back in NC (but it was too outside our budget to plan two parties.) Maybe think about it and decide what is going to be your best option. My advice for planning a wedding different from your current physical location is to PLAN, PLAN, PLAN!! Utilize every resource you have, friends, family, other vendors, wedding websites and word of mouth. Book early, and plan a few days to go knock out a bunch of stuff at once. We went back to MN about a month ago, and had an engagement party, met the officiant, saw and booked the ceremony/reception site, met the photographer, florist, and I even found a dress (with mom and sister in tow) – being organized and strategic has been the best thing for me for planning, thus far.
Ultimately, you both need to be happy where you get married and I agree with the other bees – your loved ones will travel for you, and everyone will want to celebrate your day. Congrats!! 🙂
Post # 12
We have a VERY similar situation! I’m from Upstate NY and he’s from Philly (appx. 3 hours away). My family is very small but his is HUGE! To top it off we got engaged while we were living in DC, but now we are living and planning our wedding from CA! (Still with me?)
Ultimately, weigh your options. For me it came down to knowing that those who want to be at the wedding will find a way to be there, no matter where it is. We wentwith Upstate NY since its my hometown, my sisters are there to help since I’m planning from a far, its the least expensive option and its just one day. i agree with above posts, loved ones will travel.
If you opt to plan from a distance, I’ve been blogging about my experiences as a long distance bride to be at http://crosscountrywed.blogspot.com
Post # 13
Thanks for all of the advice! Honestly we will have to decide a date but I feel like I’ve decided on Indianapolis. Not only will I have my family’s support, but I know the area better, have some venues in mind, and I know that I will enjoy being in my home during my wedding. Nate honestly loves my family and since they are funding the nuptials, I think we owe it to them to have it there and Nate absolutely loves my home and Indianapolis.
Since you all encouraged me, I think I’m going to do it! Thanks!
Post # 14
I think that’s a good idea too and that is why I chose my hometown… I knew the area and had a good support there. Good luck in your planning!