Help me respond to this email about my wedding….

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

What’s the problem? Just respond that you are sorry that she won’t be able to make it and you hope to see her again sometime soon in the future. End of story. I don’t really get a rude tone from her email at all. 

Post # 4
3699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@futurefishy:  I second PP. I don’t see anything rudestrange about that email. I’d respond back that you’re sorry she can’t make it, you hope to see her in a timely fashion, and maybe say that you’ll share pictures of the day if she’d like. 

Post # 5
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I actaully do think that email has a very passive aggressive tone with things like “we could have planned around it…” “we talked about that already”.  Probably because you framed it that she is a very difficult person, and since you know her personality that’s probably what you’re seeing too.


I would just respond with a very short message. “This is (name) actaully.  Sorry you will not be able to attend.  The planning is coming along, thanks for asking.”


Post # 6
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d go

“Hello! It’s actually (Your Name)!” Then respond to the questions about the decorator.

Post # 7
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Id forward i to my mum seeing as it was addressed to her and ask her to give my regards. Then Id get on with planning the happiest day of my life

Post # 9
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m also not seeing anything strange about her email.

Email her back telling her it’s you and answer the questions and maybe forward the email to your mom. 

Don’t let her get under your skin. 

Post # 10
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t find her response weird. She’s asking some slightly personal questions, but otherwise, I don’t find an issue with it. 

Post # 11
1951 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@futurefishy:  Forward to your mom, and let her reply. She’ll see her mistake after that. 

Post # 13
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yes, the first part of her email does sound very passive aggressive, considering how you wrote about her. Oh well– whether she feels slighted or not, that’s her issue, not yours. Ignore that part, and just give a standard “sorry you won’t be able to make it” spiel. I usually thank them for their love and support and then offer to send them pictures, lol.

If you want to address her questions at all without giving away all of your plans, you could just say, “Wedding plans are going very well. (Mr. Fishy) and I are very excited. It’s just around the corner now!”

Post # 15
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@futurefishy:  If you do not want her to come, dont feel bad when you do not send her an invitation. Keep planning and worry about you and yours and not her feelings.

Post # 16
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

In the e-mail she didn’t come off rude. She mistakenly thought it was your mom so I would just say “Hey its actually _____” and then answer her questions if you want to. Not sure if she is being nosy or if she just wants to know how the planning is going since she won’t be able to go. 

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