(Closed) Help me say this nicely?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5165 posts
Bee Keeper

How about

We have chosen to host an Adult party.


Summer semi-formal attire

-If you have a wedding website you can go into detail about no jeans..etc

Post # 4
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I struggled for a very long time with the children thing.  I would prefer that they don’t attend, but don’t want to appear rude to family/friends traveling from out of town with children.  I finally decided on wording my reception invitation with “Adult Cocktail Reception….”  And didn’t put anything on the wedding invite.  Since the wedding is immediate family only, I am hoping word of mouth on the kids spreads well enough.

Could you say something like semi-formal resort attire is preferred for your comfort.

Post # 5
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, are you dead set on the FAQ format? 

I would just say “adult reception to follow” and if you feel the need to indicate dress say “smart casual” or something.

Post # 6
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t do a FAQ either – people generally understand what a wedding’s all about and doing a question and answer round isn’t really necessary, IMO.  However I’m doing no kids and cocktail attire too, and I’m putting ‘adult evening of dinner, cocktails and merriment to follow ceremony’ or something similar.  I’ll then spread via word of mouth that this isn’t exactly a kid-friendly event.  People will wear what they want… don’t worry about others’ attire too much 🙂

Post # 7
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

As much as we love children, this will be an event for adults only.

I got nothing for the other one!

Post # 9
40 posts

I like MrsNeutrino’s response. “Adult Party” sounds good. Also…perhaps “smart casual” could be used to describe dress. Summer semi-formal attire is also good. Best wishes!

Post # 10
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011


Maybe I just have the maturity of a twelve year old boy, but “Adult party” makes me think there’s going to be something more than dancing going on!!

For the dress code, just say “semi-formal attire.” I don’t think you need to tell people that it will be hot in July.

Post # 11
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Idon’t think I’d do a FAQ.

I included a small note on our website – Adult Cocktail Reception. Word of mouth has helped us alot. FI’s family is great – if they get wind of anyone trying something – its stopped.

We have one problematic guest who is socially inept. We heard from a number of people who said he was planning on bringing his 2 young children. Everyone told him that is was adults only. This guest is really something else – tons of past shennanigans. So to reinforce the adults only theme – SO is writing a small note on the invite. He’s really good at this type of thing – I am looking so forward to seeing you, blah, blah, blah, I hope you are able to find a sitter. This guest may require a phone call too. Emily Post may not approve – but its hard with some people. I’m pretty easy going and wouldnt mind if a family member’s child slipped through, but this guy doesnt watch his kids and they are out of control. And seriously, who brings a baby and young child to a night reception that will go until midnight. small rant. 🙂  

As for dress code – I would hope that most people know how to dress for a wedding. I would just say semi-formal. If you really think that people will show up in shorts and jeans based on past experiences – then just add please no jeans or shorts.

I had a friend who stated formal wedding attire. A few family members showed up in tanks and shorts. Some people are ridiculous.


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