how much does the groom REALLY help?

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: what percentage (time-wise) of the wedding did your groom help plan?
    0-10% : (55 votes)
    30 %
    10-20% : (41 votes)
    22 %
    20-30% : (24 votes)
    13 %
    30-40% : (21 votes)
    11 %
    40-50% : (12 votes)
    7 %
    50+% : (31 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    3948 posts
    Honey bee

    My husband was VERY involved with our planning. He designed all the invites, STD’s, welcome bag stickers, programs, etc. He also went to every vendor meeting and did the majority of DIY things.

    I did more of the online research, searching, emails, phone calls, etc. So I would say it was about 50/50 🙂

    Post # 4
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee

    My FI has helps me 100%. 

    Post # 5
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Ehhh. FI picked our invites, which I think is absolutely hilarious because they’re glittery, muahaha. He also knew our photographer so he has all contact with him. He picked our venue and our date. He chose suits over tuxes. All DIY, finding the DJ, the officiant, flowers, everything else was all done by me.

    Post # 8
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    FI helps when he’s asked, but he’s certainly not proactive with wedding planning. But that’s just how he operates with most aspects of his life. He focuses very well on a few things and has a tendency to ignore everything else. 

    Post # 9
    885 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    In terms of making decisions, he was very involved.  And he was involved to an extent with a lot of the planning, but there were only a couple things he took care of on his own (i.e. he designed and made our amazing ski lift ticket escort cards, he made all the signs we had at the wedding, he organized all the menswear and gifts for the groomsmen).  Most of the other items were spearheaded by me, with his input and help.

    Post # 10
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @sugarcube:  hes not very involed because he works so much my first job lets me work on wedding stuff all day so ive been calling and writing and such..but hes got the $$ so its very helpfull if it was up to me…ide still be tryig to find cheaper candles… he does come up with cute ideas tho, candy bar, photobooth, the card box… 


    Post # 11
    298 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @sugarcube:  Ry has been SUPER involved! Sometimes he’s the one lighting the fire under my butt to get things moving. The burlap, the stamps, picture frame for the fingerprint guestbook…. all those things he took the initative this week to just order (with my guidence of course)

    Post # 12
    11626 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My DH was involved in every decision.  He went to every meeting and actually really cared about helping with everything.

    Post # 13
    402 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @sugarcube:  Um, my FI is definitely not as involved as I thought he’d be.  He can be very particular, and he definitely doesn’t have the mindset that the wedding is all about the bride (which I don’t want him to, I sat him down after we got engaged and made sure he knew that our wedding day is about the both of us).

    But it turns out he’s only interested in helping with the “fun” stuff, for instance choosing the music and food.

    He has (frustratingly) left all of the research, booking, and mundane planning details to me.  I mean, he’s happy to help me decide on vendors, but only once I have all the information in front of him–if I ask him to research something, it will take two months and me reminding him once a week to get it done.  He really thinks I’m crazy for planning “so far in advance” (we’re 8 months out now) and that we have tons of time to get everything done.

    He just opened a business and I realize that his head is occupied with business-related things, but we did have a talk last week about how this is OUR wedding and I can use some help.

    Post # 14
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Mr. Lk was involved, but i’m definitely still the one who did the majority of the work. I loved wedding planning, and he was neutral on it, so the division of labor made sense for us. He:

    • Went on all venue, photographer, and rehearsal dinner visits and was an equal partner in making the final decision
    • Helped customize the invite/rsvp/insert suite and the STDs (choosing fonts and colors, embossed the STD envelopes with me, ran to and from the calligrapher for drop off and pick-up of envelopes)
    • Helped choose the wine pairings and chose all of the beer pairings on his own
    • Made our entire wedding playlist (he has a passion for music and this was the only thing he asked to do)
    • Designed, printed, and assembled all of the signs
    • Designed and printed the programs
    • Made the wine cork place card holder
    • Chose the tuxe
    • Chose the morning-of activity for the guests and organized the whole thin
    • Hounded the stragglers when our room block was about to expire
    • Worked with our DOC in the last 10 days leading up to the wedding and handled everything so that I could go care for a dying family member and deal with funeral stuff
    • Poured me a glass of wine whenever I needed one (most important thing ever!)

    Post # 15
    7196 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    He helped come up with the menu and he picked his outfit. He also put together our gift registry. I’d say about 10%.

    Post # 16
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I have no idea how many hours we each spent… we don’t keep score like that. But I can tell you this: My husband researched and booked the DJ, chose and bought all the booze, took things to the printer and picked them up the week of the wedding, took care of all the details regarding menswear, spent a day assembling invitations with me and my Mom, smoothed over a few communication snafus with vendors, and half-listened while I babbled about girly details like flowers, music, and decor. And we worked together to choose our ceremony wording and readings.

    And he was very supportive when I got freaked out wedding planning stress. As in, he hugged me, listened, helped, and then booked a couples massage. I feel very lucky!

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