help me settle an argument with my husband.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Husband coming too:
    good idea : (80 votes)
    42 %
    bad idea : (112 votes)
    58 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Nope.  If she wanted him there, she would have invited him.  Why can’t he let you guys bond as sisters?  It’s a stressful time for her, so the less guests the better.   She wants you there to help – when there’s two of you she will feel like she has to entertain you.  Adding a person changes it from something low-key to a “thing”

    Post # 4
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @bebero:  I’m assuming you don’t have your own children– are you considering having them in the future? I would LOVE my FI to be “on the front lines” with an infant so he knows what to expect!!

    ETA: I misread, for some reason I thought it was Mom AND Dad that were out of town. Nevermind! I’m sure she only wants to come home to you!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I agree with you. The lady is wide open and just had a baby. The less people the better I say. He should stay home.

    Post # 6
    Member
    624 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    @bebero:  I was thinking, ‘no problem’ until I got to the last part of your post where it says she lives in a tiny apartment. Because of this, I agree with you that it’s a bad idea. The more people, the more stress, even if they’re family, IMO.

    Post # 7
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My husband and I are a package deal, you cannot invite one of us anywhere without expecting that the other may or may not show up. If he wanted to come with me, I assure you he woul dbe there…If she didn’t want him coming but still wanted me to come, I can also assure you that’s the last time she’d be hearing from me. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee

    wait, it’s your husband’s sister, right? I don’t get it. It’s not like its some random person coming into her house and messing things up…it’s her brother??? 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    deleted

    Post # 10
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I dunno on this one. I think you could ask in the right way that makes it clear that you would 100% understand if she said “no” to the idea and that you and DH would be thrilled with doing whatever she felt was best in the situation. I’d try to humor him to a certain degree, I guess.

    Post # 11
    Member
    531 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I voted bad idea but now I’m not sure.  On one hand I agree with some of the previous posters that if she wanted him there she’d have invited him (especially since its HER brother).  On the other hand, it’d be a lot better for you to have him there to help share the baby chores and just to keep you company.  And if he helps clean up messes/with dishes/laundry etc rather than just making more messes then I don’t really see why he shouldn’t come.  I think I would probably talk to her about it rather than letting him ask.  I think you two can probably have a frank discussion and figure out how she really feels – if he asks I think it will probably make her feel awkward to tell him ‘no.’

    Post # 12
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsTVLover:  I don’t think so. She asked for our opinions, that’s mine. I also think that your a little rude.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Principessa Bunny:  Thats why I deleted it right away.  I may be a little rude, but I am not a single social unit with my DH.

    Post # 15
    Member
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Principessa Bunny:  I’m sorry, what?  What if his friend wants him to go shopping?  What if your friend wants to go to a baseball game?  You’re not allowed??

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