Post # 1
I really want to understand the ” My wedding has to be perfect” My bridesmaids are not copperating or helpful” way of thinking. Knock off dresses are tacky, buffets are tacky, I have to have name brand dress and shoes etc.
I gave my bridesmaids my main wants/theme ( pink/ivory/wine/lace/vintage) . I told the girls as long as your shoes match your dress, I don’t care what you wear. I am glad you can stand up for me and be there for me kind of thinking.
The grooms men will all wear tan/khaki suits of their choosing with wine colored ties that we are buying. As far as shoes for the guys…they can pick whatever goes with the suit.
We are not having a rehearsal. The DOC will meet us an hour before and give my personal attendant instructions as to who enters when.
Yes, I had a momentary melt down this past week when my photographer backed out…. but put myself back into check that this is about the day that I marry the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with and a celebration afterwards with our family and friends. It is not a tv production….and we may end of up with pictures taken by the disposables on the tables..so be it …at least I will have pictures of that day…will they be professional…no, but they will be taken by people that love us and are celebrating with us.
Liife will never be picture perfect, not everything will go our way or be supportive.
I am wearing a knock off dress made in china, a buffet reception ( fantastic food), cheesecake bar instead of wedding cake. I bought my shoes at modcloth and payless, DIY my own centerpieces and bouquets. We will offer tap beer, soft drinks and punch on us and a cash bar other than that.
We are a very laid back couple. We drive nice older cars, live in a 1950’s rambler and do not wear designer clothes or jewelry. Maybe that is just it….different lifestyles is what explains it.
Maybe all of this name brand, perfectly matching, designer stuff is how the other half lives on a day to day basis and that is the life they will live while building a family.
Any input ?
Post # 3
I feel that some people get lost in the visions of their wedding day and lose sight of what they are actually committing to and celebrating.
If you have the means, then have a big, fancy blow-out. Just try to keep things in perspective.
SO and I decided a long time ago that we are either eloping or having a very small, intimate ceremony followed by a family dinner.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Everyone has different tastes and envisions their wedding in a certain way. As long as it is what is important to the couple, then that’s what makes it perfect for them.
Post # 5
Are you having flower girls or a ring bearer? You might want to consider a rehearsal so the kids know what to do.
People have different ideas for their weddings, and some people need to have more control over the events of the day than others. My problem is with people who say their wedding is supposed to be the best day of their lives. Well…that means everything after it will not be as good? That’s AWFUL!!
Post # 6
@lifesaride: Well, you are sane. And you probably have a very happy fiance and wedding party (and if they don’t appreciate your sanity, they should come read some of the stuff on here – lol).
Post # 7
I think it really depends. You sound like a really easygoing couple, and that’s great, but not everyone is like you.
Some people build the day up in their minds for years and years and consider it to be the most important day of their lives. Others do not.
Some people would spend $25,000 on the wedding and have a $1,000 ring. Others would like an expensive ring and to elope (us, for example).
Different stokes for different folks. I get a bit baffled when I see some posts on here, but I have to remind myself that some people would think some things that I’m crazy about are odd.
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center
No one is going to argue with you that the most important thing is that you’re marrying the love of your life and starting your lives together.
But let’s face it. You’re on a wedding forum where most people are on here because of the fact that they’re getting married (aside from the waiting bees, of course.) A lot of people that have weddings don’t even join forums like this because the aspects of their day maybe aren’t as important to them or they don’t feel like they need to discuss all options and get opinions etc. People are on this site not because all they are concerned with is the details, but because they get married once and although they know that their future spouse is important and THE most important thing about a wedding, they would like to have their wedding be and look a certain way. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s a difference between a ‘bridezilla’ and wanting to have things a certain way on your big day.
Post # 9
I think a wedding is usually consistent with or mirrors the style of the bride and groom. Different people envision different things, and are raised to be used to specific expectations. I personally feel like it’s a huge party to celebrate FI and me becoming our own family, and so for me, I feel like I want everything to be exactly as I want it-almost as a proper starting point or send off. Do I think everything will be perfect? No…but I sure as hell want it to be as close to what we’ve envisioned. I’m also very specific/anal in most other aspects of my life, and so no one would expect our wedding to be any different 😛
Post # 10
People like what they like. I am a type A personality so whether it is my wedding or some other random event like a dinner party I’m throwing, a shower for a friend, a holiday etc. I like it to be close enough to my version of ‘perfect’ (accepting that nothing is really perfect) and flow seamlessly. So this means I like to pre-plan, practice things, ensure that I have hired good vendors who aren’t going to flake on me and have picked bridesmaids who aren’t going to create unnecessary drama. I also happen to prefer plated dinners over a buffet – we all like different stuff. I would never say to someone having a buffet or a knock off dress that I think they are tacky though. Just as I wouldn’t expect anyone to criticise me for choosing to buy my dress at a boutique rather than from Jasmines or online. It’s my money and my decision to spend it how I wish. (My dress is by no means a designer super exxy dress though).
I don’t really see a problem with any of this? None of this means that a person is a bridezilla or is abusing people if stuff goes wrong etc. That is a whole different kettle of fish.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
I agree with both of these bees.
Everyone has different priorities. And in fact, my bridal set was $1500 total, it’s exactly what I’ve always wanted, and we are spending about $25,000 on the wedding. We are also going to do a missions trip for our honeymoon.
I won’t get a dress made in China because we are having a “green wedding,” but that’s really just based on the way I choose to live, and where I want to spend my money. I plan on buying a gown made in the States, but you can bet it won’t cost $5k.
I think people do lose sight of the real purpose of the wedding, and I’m with you that bridezillas are mind-boggling. But for me, that’s one of the reasons I hired a wedding planner; I don’t want any friendships ruined by what is supposed to be a joyous occasion. One of the biggest reasons our budget got so big is the fact that FI’s hometown is a wedding destination, and there are so many people we can’t imagine having that day without.
I don’t think there’s any harm in wanting things to be a certain way, but adapting, and making sure that the focus is in the right place is what is really important, regardless of how you get down the aisle.
Post # 12
@lifesaride: You have it all right. Ignore everyone else. You and your husband will be happy so who cares if it’s “good enough” for anyone else? Feel lucky that you can accept things the way they are, it will help you a lot throughout your married life. I also had a polyester dress. The earth did not crash into the sun.
Post # 13
Thanks for your input everyone. It has been very helpful and makes sense. I try to keep an open mind but catch myself everyonce in a while shaking my head and wondering 🙂
Post # 14
Everybody has different priorities.
For some people, their wedding is the greatest day of their lives; their most perfect day; the happiest day of their lives; the day they have been dreaming about since they were children; the one day in their lives when they can be a princess; etc, etc, etc.
On such an important day, of COURSE some people are going to worry about each and every detail. It’s a natural response. Also, most people will be spending more on this one single day than all of the parties they will throw in their lifetimes. Because there is so much money involved, of course some people will want things to be perfect- they want their money’s worth!
For me, it’s not that important. I mean, I am really excited and I think we’re going to have a really great time. But will it be The. Best. Day. of my LIFE? I mean, it’ll be up there. My FI and I are doing things ‘off-beat’, as they like to say, because we want to save money and have a reasonably fun time- not too crazy!
Everybody makes choices- the only thing that matters is that you’re happy with the choices you make, and the next person is happy with theirs’- and let them vent about their bridesmaids! An internet forum isn’t any good if nobody’s bitching : P
Post # 15
Well, DH and I eloped so this doesn’t really apply to me. But, I am so with you. I am not the type of person to fret over details.
My sister had a very casual beach wedding and it was such fun. There was no rehearsal dinner, etc. etc. Everyone had a great time. A few things went wrong at the last minute and my sister just improvised and made do. She didn’t waste one minute worrying about it… she just focused on getting married and celebrating the moment!
She was prepared to spend hundreds on her wedding dress, but couldn’t find anything appropriate in the bridal salons. She ended up falling in love with an $18 clearance dress from Ross! It was floaty, filmy, romantic and Bohemian. And she didn’t care who knew it came from Ross, either. She looked gorgeous!
Post # 16
I can’t help you understand, because I don’t get it myself. Haha.
Our wedding will be about 50 people, we ARE the type of people who like nice cars and jewelerly and clothing.. but in no way shape or form will we be going into any debt for this wedding nor do we think this will in anyway be the biggest day of our lives. No bridesmaids, no showers, no gifts, no bachelorette. Just a lovely party for our families, and close friends, that two people are getting married at.