Help me understand a weddings grand exit, please

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t understand it myself and we didn’t do it. We wanted to have as much time with our guests as possible. 

Post # 3
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We had one as kind of a last minute decision, more so as an excuse to use sparklers! We did ours when the reception was over, lights came on, bar closed, DJ played the last song, then everyone (about 150 guests left) lite sparklers and we walked through and headed to the hotel. It was fun leaving on a fun note and I think the guests enjoyed the sparklers (and late night Dominos pizza delivery!). 

Post # 4
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

We had a grand exit at the end of our reception.  The guests were escorted out of the venue and given sparklers.  My husband and I shared a final dance together and then exited to our grand spakler exit.  We left and went directly to our hotel room.  Our guests mingled and then went to their destination (many were staying onsite). 

Post # 5
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Yea, I still think it is nicer to be there as long as your guests are. 

Post # 6
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I also don’t understand it at all so we didn’t do one. It is pretty common & most couples doing this are the first to leave, although usually only a half hour or so before the other guests. I’ve never been to a wedding, other than my own, where they didn’t have a grand exit… Usually the family or wedding party or coordinator takes care of the guests & any items the Bride & Groom don’t want to take with them. The couple usually goes straight to a hotel or the airport for their honeymoon flight.

Post # 7
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Zimtstern:  I like it because it gives the wedding a formal close. There are the last of the formalities (like tossing the bouquet), and the couple exits to start their honeymoon. (And traditionally, and certainly in our case, they want to have a romantic and sexy wedding night). After that, when I’ve been a guest, party’s over. Guests chat a little and leave. Some people clean up. (Make sure you ask, if you’re expecting that). 

In our case, a small number of guests had to leave early, but most stayed for the exit.

The alternative is, like any other party, it sort of peters out as more and more guests leave. At an ordinary party (like a 21st) that’s ok – you end up with a small number sitting and talking as the numbers dwindle. There’s nothing wrong with either way of doing it – it’s up to you how you want the reception to end.

Post # 8
Member
9531 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think they’re becoming less popular in the US. I can’t really think of more than a couple couples  that chose to do it. We didn’t. There’s enough fanfare throughout the day, we didn’t feel the need for more and we wanted to spend every minute that we could with our guests.

Post # 9
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

JenGirl:  +1 exactly how I feel – you expressed it much better than I did.

Post # 10
Member
584 posts
Busy bee

I too did not do one and I agree they’re becoming less popular. I wanted to stay as long as possible and I was so sad it was over!

At a recent wedding I was at, there were a lot of young people, we all stayed on site, and there was an after party, but they still did a grand exit. Afterwards, there were still so many young people that the DJ played 2 more songs that were totally inappropriate and it was so much fun! Staff were cleaning up and we were kind of helping but really just having some fun while the bride and groom changed for the afterparty.

Post # 11
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Zimtstern:  We are not doing one- we will have an exit out of the ceremony but thats it 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

The grand exit is appropriate to the situation where the wedding reception is hosted by someone other than the bride and groom, and the bride and groom are present as guests of honour, only. In formal circumstances, guests of honour are obliged to leave relatively early, as no other guest can properly leave until the guests of honour do. That’s part of how the other guests “honour” them.

After the guests of honour leave, the hosts — who are most often in this case the mother of the bride and her husband — remain entertaining the guests. There may be some more dancing and the refreshments are still served, but the party does tend to break up shortly after the couple leaves. The host and hostess are, of course, the last to leave and remain available to wish each departing guest good-night.

Prior to the 1980s or so, couples did not openly co-habit before marriage. Often they left the reception directly for their honeymoon. The unfamiliar and exciting prospect of spending the night with just one another licitly with social sanction(!!!) tended to win out over the prospect of dancing the night away in the presence of friends and other chaperones.

Post # 13
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

aspasia475:  

 

aspasia, I haven’t seen a post from you in a long time and I was thinking about you today as I dumped 600+ message in my box. In that process I ran across several old, old threads. Glad you are still around the WB boards! Anyway.

yep, that’s what my mom used to say in a less elegant way, she would sort of complain about  drawn out weddings now that “drag on and on because the bride and groom don’t care about leaving, they already sleep together!”haha good old mom.

Post # 14
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Our grand exit was as the wedding was ending. All the guests were escorted outside, we did our grand exit, and then guests started loading on the shuttle/getting in their cars to leave. We did it for the photos, and overall it really fun bc our guests got REALLY into the exit. (I’m sure the open bar def influenced that…)

Post # 15
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

 

Zimtstern:  It may be a culture / regional thing. I’m in the US and in the south all the wedding I’ve been to have had a grand exit. I’m having on with glow sticks/necklaces instead of sparklers. In the south we usually do it about 3/4 though the reception so the Photographer can be done for the night and it also gives the older generation a go ahead to leave if they wanted and usually we party a little bit more then go to wherever you are going for the night. It’s kinda of like ok the parents are gone now we can really party. Our circle is a fun group so I’m sure we will have the glow sticks on the dance floor way before the grand exit!

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