- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
Hello! Ive been lurking here for awhile but now need advice!
Ok, long story short ive been married for 3 years to a wonderful husband. Ive gotten along fine with his family, although they are very intense(they yell alot at each other, never at me and i stay out of it). His sister is dealing with some depression and still lives at home wiith his mom. I opened my gmail and read an email from his sister. i at first thought this was my email, but he was still logged on.
The email contained horrible, horrible things said about me by my MIL. my SIL included them all in an email to my husband stating, “mom is mentally ill too and says all of these horrible things i cant live with her or get better until she gets help”
They were HORRIBLE HORRIBLE things, stating my “niceness was just an act” and that i didnt do enough to keep them entertained when they were in town, i was a horrible person, his family didnt support our marriage, etc etc. just horrible. ( they will come and stay with us for a month at a time, my husband works 80+ hours a week, i work full time as a nurse, and i wait on them hand and foot the entire time. plus they are adults and can also care for themselves)
I closed the email and didnt mention it to my husband. he didnt mention it to me either. His relationship with his family has always been tumultuos, and i always thought i was the “calm in the storm” during all visits but i guess not!
Now, there is a chance the sister is lying or exaggerating, but i am still hurt. my husband really does put me first and we adore each other and are very happy so maybe this was a way to push his buttons or drive him into action? i dont know wheater to bring this up with my husband, or let it go. part of me feels guilty for reading the email. part of me also feels as if bringing it up would not be helpful, and that he would just feel awful and embarrased and it would lead to more awkwardness the next time i have to visit them. i dont want to cause a further wedge in their family because i do believe that both MIL and SIL have mental health issues that arent being treated, and at the very least are just sad, lonely, bitter people. I think with enough distance i can let it go and put it behind me.
he has yet to respond, but then again i am certain to not open his email ever again becuase it did not turn our well last time! ( even though it honestly was a mistake)
Advice: what would you do? do i ask him about it?
thanks for your help!