Post # 1
So we got engaged in Jan. 2012, and decided we would wait until Sept. 7th, 2013 to get married. Well it is now June, and my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimers about a year ago and we were not sure how fast it would progress. He has been going down hill fairly fast now, and instead of waiting 1 1/2yr my fiance and i deicided it would work to move the date to this Oct. 21st. Since we had started early we already have a lot done and it would be no problem to get the place changed and get everything done in time that we wanted. We let my parents know and they are completely fine with it and excited! My grandparents will still be able to enjoy our wedding w/o the worry of my grandpa not remembering us & so on. He is very impartant to me, like another father. We have not sent Save the Dates or invitations out so we didn’t think it would be a big deal to anyone that we moved it up. As soon as we told his parents, they went into panic mode!! My fiance is caught in the middle and he wants to please both of us, but at some point he needs to take my side right!? His parents think a Sunday wedding is a bad idea because an aunt that lives a couple states away is a teacher, and apparently there is absolutley no way she can take a Monday off. So they want us to change our date AGAIN to a Fri. night b/c is would be eaiser to take Thurs/Fri off then a Monday…..we dont even see this aunt for years at a time! I see my grandpa everyday. I would be willing to change to a Friday but the venue we want is completley book for Fridays & Sats until November! We are getting married outside, and i really dont want to have to deal with snow!! I don’t know what to do, i’m no way a Bridezilla but how do we get what we want w/o stepping on some toes?! HELP PLEASE!
Post # 3
I’m a teacher, and I don’t understand why the aunt can take a Thurs/Fri off but not a Monday. My school will let us take off whenever we want as long as we have personal days left, but I know not all districts are like that. Some districts don’t allow personal leave at all, and others don’t allow personal leave attached to weekends/holidays….but either way, she would be taking days off with a weekend.
I say stick to the date you have.
Post # 4
Your grandfather seems more important than an aunt that you rarely see. I would stick to your guns and keep the Sunday date. Maybe do an earlier ceremony and reception so that guests aen’t staying out until 10 pm would be a good compromise. I find it hard to believe that it would be easier for her to miss two days of work than one. That sounds like bull. Can you call the aunt to speak to her directly instead of going through his parents?
Post # 5
I wouldnot change a date for someone who I barely see. I think you should explain that you are changing the date due to sickness and that you are very sorry that mybe the new date is not working to this aunt but changing it again would cause a lot of hassle.
Post # 6
it sounds very weird that the aunt will be able to take thurs/friday off (which is 2 days) than taking one day off (which is Monday)
I mean…you gotta do what you gotta do. I won’t change it for someone you only see once a year, personally.
Post # 7
Try to sound as calm and collected as possible and say, “I’m sorry, but we tried to do what we can, but Friday won’t work. The wedding will be on Sunday, date and time. My grandfather is very special to me and I wouldn’t know what to do if he wasn’t able to enjoy our special day. I understand it will be difficult for other guests to come on a Sunday, but we’re still going to go ahead with having it on (repeat date and time). The save the dates will be sent out soon.”
Good luck to you. You just need to stand your ground, hun. It’s your wedding, it’s your grandfather, I’m pretty sure MIL isn’t going to loose sleep for years at a time if your aunt can’t make it. It’s unfortunately one of the times when you have to be assertive and decisive OR ELSE SHE WILL WALK ALL OVER YOU.
Post # 8
Don’t do it! Keep your date!! If you give in she might push the issue on other things too!
Post # 9
I’m a teacher and see her point, but would stick to your guns anyway.
Post # 10
@kitamad: Agreed! I can maybe take a personal day off, but there would be no difference between taking a Monday and a Thursday/Friday.