(Closed) Help MOH and Bridesmaid Drama

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2 posts
  • Wedding: March 2012

No you’re not over reacting, I think you should have a right to expect support and understanding from your Maid/Matron of Honor – that’s her role.


Unfortunately, I think these spats are all too common.  I got similarly upset at my bridesmaid who had done very little to help me with the wedding (she came to two dress fittings and hadn’t done any prep for the hen night – I am organising a wedding for 100+ people in four months).  When I mentioned “we” needed to get “our” thinking caps on – I was quite happy to help her, she just needed to ask… I was told I was being selfish and egotistical and that “she” was so stressed out over the wedding.  WTF?


I think weddings cause people around us to take a long hard look at their life, and sometimes they don’t like what they see.  For my bridesmaid, she realised she was 33 and single and she resented me planning my wedding and took a mini-fit at me.  I get that, and though she’d never admit that’s why she freaked, I know deep it’s come from her insecurities and not (directly) from my actions.  Didn’t stop me being hugely p-off with her at the time!?!


I think you’ll find your sisters actions, or in actions, will be from similar insecurities.  She may not even realise she’s doing it.


You’re allowed to be hacked off though.



Post # 4
17 posts

Unfortunately your little sister is being just that, a little sister. Where she should be stepping up to help you she isn’t. Maybe talk to her yourself and consider making your Bridesmaid or Best Man the Maid/Matron of Honor and demoting your sister if she doesn’t start picking up the slack. You shouldn’t have to plan your wedding around her or her boyfriend’s sister’s wedding or WHATEVER. It’s your day. Don’t be afraid to be headstrong to get exactly what you want and deserve for your big day.


Post # 6
2705 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m going to disagree with PPs.  Does it suck that your sister/MOH isn’t  helping and being supportive?  Absolutely!  And I think it’s natural to be upset she doesn’t want to be involved.  And I do think it’s really weird that she’ll help her bf’s sister but not you, you know, her actual sister.

However, the only responsibilities she has as Maid/Matron of Honor is to show up on the day of the wedding, clean, sober, and in the correct dress.  And since she’s the Maid/Matron of Honor she will also sign your marrige certificate.  She doesn’t have to throw you a bach party or shower or help you plan your wedding. Those are nice extra things that she can chose to do.  You can ask her to help, but you cannot demand it.  I think it’s selfish to expect her to do all of these things for you. If she’s not going to throw you a bach party, your other BMs can certainly host one instead.

Also, please don’t demote your sister.  That will only lead to more drama and hurt feelings and it’s very rude.  You don’t pick your bridal party based on who can and cannot do stuff for you.  They should be your nearest and dearest.

I’m sorry this is causing you so much stress. 

Post # 7
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I feel you. My sister is also my Maid/Matron of Honor and hasn’t helped at all. I dont even think she cares that I am getting married. She doesnt like talking about the wedding, wouldnt take time off for the dress fittings, and pretty much doesnt want to do anything. But I am very lucky to have 3 BMs that truly care about me and are helping me ge through everything.

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