Post # 1
Agh! So despite having a sister, I made my best friend of 18 years my Maid/Matron of Honor thinking she was more of an outgoing person than my sister (My sister was ok with it) and what a HUGE MISTAKE it was!
Along with making drama out of going to every apt for my dress & bridesmaid dresses because of her unorthodox schedule, she hasn’t helped me plan a single thing. Any time I mention it to her, she just complains about how chaotic her life is & how she is soooo busy. I have tried being firm about needing help …. but she then went to her mom & called me Bridezilla! This was later repeated to my mom! I want to give her the boot, but am afraid that it will kill 18 years of friendship. I really do need help making sure the other girls pay for their dresses & help planning the bachelorette ….
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
This might not be what you want to hear, but it’s really not the MoH’s place to be making sure the other bridesmaids pay for their dresses. That’s your job, and even if your MoH volunteered for that role, it’s not appropriate at all. Don’t drop that on your MoH and don’t put her or the other bridesmaids in a difficult position.
Also no one is required to throw you a bachelorette party although it is customary that the MoH take the lead. Perhaps you should suggest (not tell) her to start talking to the other girls and seeing who can contribute what in terms of efforts— then step back and let them do it. Stay out of it even if it’s not easy to do.
I think you need to have a chat with her and let her know that you’re grateful for any help she can give, and get a really solid understanding of what this friend can actually commit to. Don’t give her chores; let her give you gifts of her time and energy.
Post # 4
@fishbone: Did the OP edit?
@LRH216: I am with @fishbone: The only person required to help with your wedding is your fiance and any paid vendors (for what they are being paid for). You can ask but you have no right to be upset if they cannot help out. your Bridesmaid or Best Man has been very clear and direct with you that she is too busy to help. It sounds like you haven’t accepted that and have pushed it/comlained about it which in my opinion does make you a bit bridezillish (I hate that word) of a demanding bride.
Lower your expectations and remember why she has been your friend for the last 18 years. I am pretty sure the answer isn’t because she would one day plan your wedding for you!
Post # 5
traditionally it is the MOH’s job to coordinate dress fittings for the bridesmaids…not sure about the payment part…..