Post # 1
Help! I have been truely hurt for the past month. My sister and I have been very close all our lives. We are only a year apart. I am the younger sister. My sister was very excited that I was getting married during the early months of my engagement but now we have about 5 months to go and she has stopped talking to me and my mother. I never said/did anything to upset her. We think it is because she is possibly jealous that I am getting married first. She has not done anything to help me with the wedding except get her dress. She had threatened not to be my Maid/Matron of Honor 3 times now b/c she says she is sick of everything being about my fiance and I. She thinks it is wrong that my parents are paying for my wedding, but isnt that usually how that goes? We also think she is frustrated because my family is not too thrilled about her new boyfriend, he didnt exactly get the approval from my parents and that really made her upset. NOW she has said she will NOT be coming to my wedding or be in the wedding. She moved in with her boyfriend and is not talking to my family. I really really want my own sister to be a part of my fiance and I’s special day but she has been so mean to both of us. Some people say the show must go on without her and I must chose another Maid/Matron of Honor or I won’t have a bridal shower or bachlorette party ( I would have to plan my own which I don’t want to do). I don’t want to stress about this but this IS my sister. I am so hurt and clueless on what to do. Should I ask my best friend to step in as MOH? My mom says that the chances are slim that she will actually step up and do the duties of a Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 3
Have you called her and asked her to go out to lunch with you? Maybe she would just like some alone time with just the two of you doing special things like you probably used to.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2011 - The Viceroy
Wow, I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. It does sound like sound like your sister may be having a hard time with all the attention on your wedding, which is probably only made worse by the fact that her new boyfriend is not your family’s favorite. If I were in your shoes I’d let her cool off for a while and then reach out to her–but don’t bring up the wedding. Maybe go out to lunch and just talk about her. Hopefully after that she’ll feel better about the situation and will be more open to being a part of your wedding. You still have a few months until the wedding, so hopefully everything will blow over in time. Good luck!
Post # 5
Perhaps explain the situation to your best friend and ask if she’d mind being a co-MOH? That way (hopefully) once things work out with your sister (because I’m sure deep down she still wants to be there for you) they can share duties – but you don’t have to stress about not having someone to fill that important role if the worst happens.
I think the best way to approach things with your sister is just not to broach the wedding topic with her for a wee while, she is obviously really sensitive about her relationship (and therefore all others) and needs your support to help get back on her feet emotionally.
Good luck and thinking of you 🙂
Post # 6
**HUGS** Go ahead and ask you BFF to step up and be your Maid/Matron of Honor. If anything, like your sister does come back, they can share the title. Give her a few days to calm down and then call her up for a non wedding related date, take her to the movies, lunch, a mani/ pedi, anything and talk with her and let her know that you really want her to be apart of your life and that you were hoping to enjoy the start of your marriage with your sister by your side. Be gentle about the situation because she obviously has some issues with her Boyfriend or Best Friend not being accepted and her not getting married first. Understand that it may take her some time to come around, but don’t be dicouraged:)
Post # 7
Thanks girls! I don’t want to give up on my sis. I am hoping that she will change her mind before the wedding. Taking her out somewhere to talk is a good idea and I won’t bring up wedding details. I will just have to be as nice as I can be to show that I still love her so much and hopefully she will realize that she needs to be a part of the wedding. But I will let things cool off first, like suggested. 🙂
Thank you! <3
Post # 8
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. Congratulations on your wedding though! I am sure she will come around as the wedding date moves closer, and I would second all the above advice. Good luck and keep us posted on how lunch goes.