Help- My parents hate my fiance!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

Jkate44:  I went through the same thing. My mom’s reaction was “ugh…Ren. No…” I went wedding dress shopping without her and that was when she realized that she could either get on board or lose out on something really special in my life. Eventually she came around. I’d just brush off their reaction and enjoy the time being engaged. I hope they come around for you. Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

Jkate44:  my fiance’s parents are the same way with him and hate me. honestly he’s just gone on with life with me and made it clear if they don’t accept me or accept us as a couple then there’s no room for them in his life. it’s been hard but he’s stood his ground with them and I think they are finally starting to realize he means it. so hopefully they knock their shit off. I would suggest you continue to do what you’re doing (which is great things) and make them realize their “approval” of your life decisions or relationship is not needed. hopefully they come around and realize they’ve been foolish.

Post # 4
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Jkate44:  Their emotional abuse is awful, and while their disapproval hurts now, they’re no longer a support system, you’re no longer dependent on them, and they can either be happy for you or be cut out of your life forever. It seems like they’re willing to cut you out of theirs, so all you can really do is take pride in your academic success, that you have a supportive wonderful fiance, and that you have your whole life ahead of you doing things that will make you happy. 

Did you ever see your horse again? 🙁

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

If you know what you’re doing, you know what you’re doing and you’re going to have to let your parents be unhappy. There doesn’t seem to be a choice. 

I agree that you are young, but you seem to have your priorities straight, so it’s time to be confident about them. It’s going to be up to your parents to either get on board, or risk losing you. It’s terrible for you, really unfair– but these are your cards. Good for you for the strength you’ve already shown, and for your FI for supporting you!! You will be ok.

Post # 6
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I grew up doing rodeos and barrel racing. Once I moved away for college I begged my grandpa to let me take my horse but he told me I needed to focus on my education. I can not believe parents act like yours. Being an orphan and losing my dad when we weren’t on good terms, I don’t understand how some parents act like asshats…because they never know when they won’t get to see their children agai . I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Just focus on your fiancé right now and hopefully they will come around. 

Post # 7
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

So your parents freaked because your fiance encouraged you to focus on getting into medical school rather than doing rodeo? 

I think they have a lot bigger problems than needing to accept your fiance. You can’t fix them, but maybe they can relinquish control and learn to accept you as an adult. That decision is theirs; it is out of your hands. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

Well your parents just sound lovely ::note sarcasm:: honestly it sounds like you’ve found a great guy and at this point, you’ve made several choices they didn’t like/accept and you’ve moved on, I think this should be none exception. It’s wild to me they would think so backwards but thats life  I suppose.

Congrats on your engagement 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1907 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

Jkate44: Congratulations on your engagement!! It sounds to me like it isn’t your FI they don’t approve of, but your career choice. Well that’s just tough, because you’re a grown woman and you should do whatever makes you happy. Your FI sounds hard-working, loving, supporting and understanding! I’m sorry your parents are acting like spiteful kids, so go ahead and be successful without them and they’ll come around eventually! Well they’ll have to or they’ll lose you in their lives.

Post # 10
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Jkate44:  Wait… Let me get this straight- your parents would rather you tend to horses than go to med school? And their opinion matters to you why…? 

Post # 11
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I agree with PP on this. You are doing everything you can to better your life, which is all they should want for you. I am glad that you have your priorities straight and that you found someone so supportive. Your parents are making this choice. You can’t stop them from however they choose to react. You can only choose how you react. I know it hurts to not have their approval, but you know you are making the right choices. Maybe one day they will realize it too. Stay strong. 🙂

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