Post # 1
Hey everyone so about two weeks ago my FI and I bought a fur baby 🙂 He is a teachup Chihuahua and is now about 3 months old. I must admit that my current living situation is making having a puppy very difficult… but that’s a long story, so anyways here’s my problem:
FI works part time five days a week (but it will go down to four very soon) while I am currently not employed. I am a student and about to start classes next week, but it will only be two days a week. So currently I having nothing going on and I have been home ALL day EVERY day with the puppy, and naturally he bonded with me fairly quickly and fairly easily. My FI has been going through a lot of problems lately, and so the fact that whenever we are in a room together our dog wants nothing to do with him and is glued to me really is hurting his feelings. He tries to feed him, play with him, train him, cuddle with him, etc. whenever he is home, but if I’m in the room the dog pretty much leaves him and comes to me. My FI feels like the dog hates him, which I don’t think is true, and honestly it is making me sad and making me feel guilty and it’s just a mess. At this point it seems like the only way for him to bond with him is for me to not be in the room… but hello I do not want to constantly be separated from my FI 🙁 that’s no fun and just not realistic.
Any ideas on what we could do to make them bond better and/or make the dog less attached to me? I was thinking of having my FI take him on walks by himself. I also want to start crate training the puppy because he sleeps in the bed with us and cries whenever we leave the house, so I am hoping that once he is crate trained he will be more independent and not so clingy to me? IDK… I’m just sad for my FI because he is going through some serious issues and could really use a dog friend right now 🙁 His feelings are really hurt and it is kind of putting a strain on the relationship…. advice please!
Even if it’s just some soothing words to say to my FI ANY advice is appreciated 🙂
Post # 3
I think that will be a great idea for him to go for walks with the puppy some quality time and playing will evevtually help out alot I m somewhat in the same boat when we first got our lil guy my SO was the main person the pup loved and always went too. But once I started giving the puppy alot of attention and trying to train him to sit, shake a paw and giving him treats lol when he does listen and obey things started to changed he gives us both the same attention it will work out 🙂
Post # 4
Its totally normal for dogs to bond with one person strongest. Typically, male dogs bond with female owners and vice versa.
I think your FI walking him alone is a good strategy. And you should always have him be the one to feed him.
Post # 5
@Serey: Oh I’m so glad to hear that it worked for you guys! That’s very encouraging 🙂
@Roe: Ohhh I didn’t know that about the male/female thing… he is a male dog so I guess that makes sense.
Post # 6
How about having your FI be the only one who feeds him. That way, the pup will grow to trust your FI and be excited when he comes home. Tell him not to be discouraged, I’m sure the dog will come around in time.
Post # 7
I got a pup, and it was just me and him for a year.
Theni moved in with DH and my little doggy came too. fast forward 4 yrs and the little dog absolutly loves DH. because DH takes him for walks and plays games with him. I still take him for walks but im not as fun as DH. So little dog loves DH and will always hang out with him. He is the only one that feeds him snacks. I refuse to because i think they are full of salt and bad things..
Perhaps that is what you need to do.
Get your FI to be the only one who feeds him, and let them have play time alone. it will suck for a bit. but it does work. find a treat that the dog loves. ours loves jerky. he willl do anything for it.
Our little dog is still a sook and if he is hurt or tired he will come and lay with me so i can snuggle him, but he will hang out with DH all day.
Post # 8
My dog prefers my FI because I do all the things she hates (baths, clipping her nails, brushing her hair cleaning her ears, giving her medicine – basically all the stuff thats good for her lol).
He also gives her way more treats than I do.
Post # 9
@AlwaysSunny: thanks I keep trying to tell him that the dog does love him and that he just needs to feed him more and take him out more… I’m gonna be more strict and make him be the only person that does it! Hopefully that will help.
@mrsrangrang: hehe thanks for the advice. We just tried that (had FI give him a tiny, tiny, crumble of a nugget) and he’s all over him now. My FI is also way more fun than I am so I really feel that we could have a similar situation to yours in the future.
@asscherlover: good thinking… FI has been the only one giving him a bath so I should take on that role now!
Post # 10
We have five pets, and they all seem to have at least a little preference for one of us over the other. I raised one of the dogs from a puppy, and didn’t meet DH until the dog was 2 years old. He cuddles with DH on the couch, but not with me. He hides behind me if he gets scared.
DH was unemployed when we got our cat, so he was always at home when she was little. She didn’t bond with me until DH started working again and I spent more time at home.
I think your puppy just needs more one-on-one time with your DH.
Post # 11
Lots of people gave some good advice!
One thing to note, though, is that chihuahuas are particularly known for bonding with just one person. I had a chihuahua in middle school and high school, and he was my mom’s dog through and through. Nothing anyone else did could change that. Zorro (the dog) LOVED my mom, liked my dad, and merely tolerated me and my brother. It didn’t matter how many treats or walks we gave him. That’s just the way it was.
Post # 12
sometimes dogs just choose a person.
i feed my dog every day, ive been the one to walk him every day and train him…and my fi never spends time with him (though we live together) but harold (my schnauzer) definitely prefers my fi. Hes great with me when we’re alone, but if we are all in the room together he’ll stay at fi’s feet and wont play with me. Its unfair!
@strawbabies: actually my dog does hide behind me when he gets scared too (at the vets etc) its the one time he chooses me.
Post # 13
@kkish3: Does puppy like treats? Have FI be the only one who ever gives puppy a treat. Also, maybe FI could teach little puppy to “sit” to earm the treat, things like that to earn HIS (FI’s) affection and… treats!
ETA: my dog is very independent, but I found she loves to do a job (not that that is the case for your little one)- but my dog loves to fetch. I would help FI find what little puppy likes to do with/ for him- and maybe just treats will work, or they can take a special walk, things like that.
Post # 14
@GreenEyedMoon: yes that is true we have a total of 5 other chihuahuas in my family and they all tend to have a preference… but I do feel that ours is a little too clingy and attached and needs to be more independent.
@cbee: yes actually our dog is very smart and adventurous! He loves to work for his food: we bought 3-piece dog bowls that came with an outer bowl, an inner stainless stell one, and a suction cup top so that you could control when the dog eats/drinks and whatnot. Literally the first day of bringing him home he walked over to the food bowl, took off the suction cup, and started eating. We were like, “Well, that’s not gonna work!” lol Ever since then he will not eat unless he works for it by taking the suction cup top off or if he pushes the bowl around… so maybe working for affection could make him bond a little better. Good idea!
Thank your for all the responses everyone. It really means a lot 🙂 And you are all right that sometimes dogs choose certain people and that’s the way it is, even if it is unfair. I just hope that our puppy learns it’s OK to love more than one person!
Post # 15
My fiance and I got our puppy about a year ago. At first he was partial to him, but then came around to me… I know it sounds crazy…. but you just need to find your niche with your pup. There will be things you give him and your FI doesnt and vice verca. In our case our puppy loves to cuddle with me and wont leave my side when my FI leaves in the am for work- he literally will not get out of bed until I do. With my fiance Vicnce … Hunter- our dog, well they play like crazy…and when it comes to getting in trouble, Vince always catches him because he gets home from work before me, so hes playing alpha male. Just recently has hunger begun to obey Vince when it comes to the “Ive been a bad dog and I know it” moments. So you just need to make sure he gets plenty of alone time with both of you. Make sure you include things dogs like— long walks together, hanging his head out the window when your driving, switch who is doing the walking and correcting. That way the dog takes directon from both of you. Now were stoked that Hunter is obeying and learning from both of us. We joke that he gets the loving and cuddling from me and the playful and training from him. A good balance is healthy for anyone– dogs included. Do what you can, when you can. Play off eachother and all will be good. Best of luck!
Post # 16
My pup is SUCH a momma’s boy… and FI hates it. He gets SO jealous (I don’t think he’s jealous of me, more jealous of the dog lol)… but my lil pupperoni was my dog first and lived with me for about a year before FI and I got our house… so it makes sense. FI plays with him, and is now the first one to walk him in the morning and before bed… so that helps alot. AND FI is the one to feed him, which also helped.
The only problem is that he doesn’t quite obey FI like he does me… sometimes I think he does it just to piss FI off lol, it’s kinda funny.