Help! My sister is green with envy!!!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
6691 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Ugh, so sorry! I have a jealous older sister as well and we are going on 3 years not speaking to each other. She finally froze me out completely when I bought my home and announced I was pregnant 🙂

Anyway, if you are having a small city hall wedding I would absolutely NOT invite her. I know that regardless of how terrible she’s been, the idea of her not comign to your wedding is probably very sad, but honestly you only want to surround yourself with people who are 100% supportive of you and can be selfless for an afternoon. Don’t send her an invite and maybe wait to see what happens. She might ask you about it, but probably not! Good luck!!

Post # 3
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

yes you invite her and you put your mother in charge of her.  If she tries to make a scene your mom should speak with her. 

Post # 4
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Are you thinking that not inviting her would help your realtionship? If so, I recommend you rethink that.

You cannot control her behavior. She may or may not act out. For that matter, she may or may not attend. What you can control is her ability to upset you. Stop letting her push your buttons.

Post # 5
Member
932 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree you should invite her as it will further the gap between the two of you if you don’t.  Now if after the invite she doesnt come that’s her choice, but I would personally still extend the invite and I agree with swizzle, put your mom in charge of her.

 

Post # 6
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

Beeee13:  unless you are prepared to completely end your relationship with her, she should be invited. I agree with pp – your mom should handle any outbursts. 

Post # 7
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee

Swizzle:  +1

 

It would be rude to not invite her, but don’t let her ruin your day since she has this pattern of behavior. Let someone else (like mom) handle her B.S and politely escort her away if she starts acting inappropriately. 

Post # 8
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I disagree that your Mom should be saddled with the responsibility of monitoring her behavior. That is an impossible task. Your sister is an adult. Your Mom can’t just slap her hand over your sister’s mouth or pick her up and carry her out of the room like you do with a child.

Just don’t show any reaction if your sister says anything inappropriate.

Post # 9
Member
1959 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

I would refuse to engage with her unless her behavior changes, big time. Have you sat her down and had a ‘come to jesus’ talk with her about how her patterns of behavior are being perceived? Remember that it takes two people to engage in conflict, so if you can help it, don’t pay her behavior any attention. If it were me, I would cut her out of my life like removing a wart. Just because it’s family, doesn’t mean you need to hang on to them if they’re constantly causing problems.

Post # 10
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

Beeee13:  I disagree that your Sister should get an automatic invite. Your wedding day is special and meaningful, and you deserve to only have supportive people witness you make a life long commitment to your SO. It sounds like you have addressed your concerns with her before. I’d have another conversation with her. If you feel like she will still act up, don’t invite her, and make sure she understands why. It sounds like your family will be supportive. Maybe it will be a wake up call about her behavior issues. Either way, she doesn’t have a right to ruin your day just because she’s your Sister. 

Post # 11
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

If she has any outbursts, have someone escort her out. As much as I’d like to say, don’t invite her, she is your sister, and the lack of invite might make things a lot worse in the aftermath.

 

Post # 12
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’d invite her and hope she doesn’t come. 😀

Post # 13
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Invite her but assign someone to “babysit” her and if she has a outburst she’ll be removed… its your wedding day, shouldn’t be your problem but you might regret not having her there if she ever does grow up.

Post # 14
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

If you are having a small city hall wedding I wouldnt invite her. She seems very immature and she shouldnt be jealous of you for being successful. If you are inviting a lot of other people then i would invite her in the hopes that she doesn’t show up. If she causes a scene ask her to leave. Family is very difficult to deal with. My sister and I havent been speaking for a long time because she was jealous of my accomplishments. It is Her problem not yours !

Post # 15
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

Your wedding day should be about you. Not her. Let’s say you invite her and she shows up and shows her behind? What then? Your day will be filled with memories of her foolishness. Your sister is grown, and your mother should be able to enjoy her daughters wedding with having to be on the look out for your sisters antics. I say don’t invite her. 

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