Post # 1
I am newly engaged as of early March and our wedding is in 8 months. I am trying to finalize my wedding party and am having a very hard time! I have 5 girls already, however, I am going up to 6 or 8. My biggest dilemma is this: My younger step brother got engaged last summer to his 22 year old g-friend and on the fly she asked me to be a bridesmaid. The wedding date is still not set, nor have any plans been made. She is a lovely girl, always nice and great for him BUT we are not close friends. We have fun and are friendly when we see each other during family holidays and get togethers BUT on the other hand, I grew up with a great group of girls that I am still very close with, all of which would be a great bridesmaid in my wedding. Even without my brother’s fiance, I would have had a hard time as is it. Now, I am feeling guilty for possibly not asking my brother’s fiance and I really don’t want to hurt her feelings.
Sigh….what to do? I know this day is about my fiance and me, but I also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or feel guilty. At the same time I don’t want to not include a g-friend that has been close to me since I was younger.
HELP ladies! Thanks for listening! 🙂
Post # 3
Maybe instead of making her a bridesmaid, make her a personal attendant. That way she feels included, but you don’t have to compromise your bridesmaid picks. That’s just an idea! 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Ask her to be a reader? I don’t think that if she asked to be a bridesmaid there is anything you can do to avoid hurting her feelings if you don’t ask her, but on the other hand, it’s pretty presumptuous to ask to be someone’s bridesmaid. Tough spot to be in, for sure. 🙁
Post # 5
Great ideas ladies…
This may be a silly question, but what would a personal attendant be responsible for? I like the idea of having a special role for her, if I decide to not have her in my wedding party. A reading is always a nice way to include someone too…I have done that in a couple of weddings.
Post # 6
She asked to be a bridesmaid? That seems strange. Man I am getting tired of people’s entitlement to being a bridesmaid just because they are friends with the bride. This is a day that will be part of your life forever, and the people who are in your wedding should be too.
8 is too many personally….think about organizing bach party, showers, getting dress fittings, paying for hair/mani/pedi and gifts! I have 6 close friends who definately are “bridesmaid” material but I only chose 3 because they have been in my life the longest. Don’t feel obligated to include people just because they are your friends. If they are really your friends they will be supporting you along the way anyways!
Post # 7
My FI’s brother is getting married 6 months before us and I’ve known my FSIL since college yet she didn’t ask me to be her bridesmaid and I didn’t either. I think there is a mutual understanding between the both of us – since we are both planning our own weddings- that it’s okay not to be in each other’s wedding party. I can’t speak for my FSIL, but I certaintly don’t mind that she didn’t ask me, even though my FI is the best man in her wedding. I feel that its my role as her FSIL to just be supportive and help them out whenever I can. The way I look it is – I’ll still be at the wedding – the most important part! So, if it bothers you a lot – maybe you can sit down talk to her and explain yourself. If she’s ready to be part of your family – I’m sure she will totally understand!!!
Good Luck 🙂